Q&A Friday #91: Ugly Choices

27 Jun, 2008 by Melissa Clouthier

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Question: F, Marry, Kill: One you have to F—, one you have to Marry and one you have to Kill.

Rosie O’Donnell

Cindy Sheehan

Janet Reno

Answer: This is too easy–mostly because I’m a woman and not gay, but…..

Marry: Rosie O’Donnell. It’s called California. Marriage. Community property. Divorce. Hello?

Screw: Janet Reno is hot in an elderly mannish kind of way. The post-coital conversation would be titillating. She could talk about what a turn on it is to go into “compounds” with “both guns blazing”. She likes the rough stuff. It could be fun, or memorable, at least.

Kill: Ma Sheehan is living a fate worse than death. And I’m being serious here. Her brave soldier son was killed in the line of duty and she is bereft. Her heart is broken beyond repair and she lost her mind in the process. She isn’t the first woman to wish she was dead once her child died. I have sympathy for her even with her love of psychopathic fascist dictators. Yes, she’s narcissistic. Yes, she’s weird. But mostly, she’s made a living hell for herself. In liberal terms, she’s got life in prison of her own making. She’s not doing any harm. Leave her there.