Rachael Ray Can Save The Manatees

Let’s see…how would a liberal blogger spin this? Maybe…the Bush Family Evil Empire has apparently moved on from killing liberal Senators like Paul Wellstone to an easier target — the hapless, slow-moving manatee!

“The Florida manatee, this state’s imperiled environmental icon, in 2006 suffered its most dismal year on record.

Of a population of about 3,200, 416 died in 2006, the highest number of deaths recorded in 30 years of statistics. Many died in collisions with boat propellers.

Now, according to an internal memo, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service has been drafting plans under which the celebrated marine mammals would lose their protection as an endangered species.

The planned reclassification of the slow-moving sea cows from “endangered” to “threatened” is expected to elicit criticism from environmental groups that see it as part of the Bush administration’s effort to poke holes in the Endangered Species Act.”

You want to save the manatee? Ok, I can tell you exactly how to do it. Capture a half dozen manatees, kill them, make them into manatee steaks and burgers. Then, convince cooking show hotty Rachael Ray, pictured here, tastefully licking a spoon…

Rachael Ray

…to make a book of 30 minute manatee recipes. Then, you’ll have people actually breeding manatees and you’ll see the meat start to show up in your super market beside of the ostrich and bison. Then, as manatee meat grows more popular, fast food franchises like McDonalds will move in to take advantage of its new found popularity. At that point, once the first McManatee burger hits the market, you’ll have them breeding tens of millions of manatees to make sure they don’t run out of burgers.

Then the environmental activists will complain again, this time because the manatees passing gas are supposedly increasing global warming, which will inspire Al Gore to make a new movie, and the greenies to call people who deny that manatees are behind warming, “manatee denialists”. Thus the cycle of life will once again be renewed and Rachael Ray will be responsible — which is why I am posting this picture of her eating a strawberry…

Rachael Ray

PS: Put another way, one that unfortunately does not feature pictures of Rachael Ray, if you allow people to own the manatees and profit from them, they will prosper.

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