Records Show Bush Skipped Kiwanis Breakfast in 1972 By William Grim

Washington, DC – CBS News is reporting that records obtained by a Freedom of Information Act request indicate that President George W. Bush skipped the annual Houston Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast on January 25, 1972. This occurred at a time in which the future President was a member of the Executive Board of the Houston Kiwanis.

“George Bush was AWOL in 1972,” said Democrat challenger John Kerry last night during a campaign rally in Massachusetts, a key battleground state in Kerry’s attempt to top Walter Mondale’s 1984 electoral vote tally. “While I was pretending to throw away my medals and meeting with the Viet Cong in Paris, George W. Bush was skipping out on his Kiwanis obligations. Well, the American people won’t stand for this. And when I am President I promise that I’ll show up to work every day in order to undermine the efforts of our brave men and women in the Armed Forces and to give aid and comfort to the enemy.”

In related news, the Politburo of the People’s Republic of Vietnam announced today that it is renaming the city of Hue to John Kerry City in honor of the senator’s efforts to promote the victory of international communism

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