Republican Senators Push ‘Virtual Tax Cut’

Republican Senators Push ‘Virtual Tax Cut’ By Scott Ott: In order to avoid a compromise with Democrats, Senate Finance Committee Republicans have agreed to a “virtual tax cut” which would be “identical in principle” to President Bush’s initial proposal for a $726 billion tax cut package.

The Republican proposal takes the $726 billion and cuts it in half, then spreads it out over 25 years and excludes taxpayers who breathe any mixture of oxygen and nitrogen, or whose whose bodies feature bilateral symmetry, or who possess a central nervous system.

“Perception is everything,” said and unnamed Senate Republican. “That’s why this proposal is so important. It makes people feel like they’re getting a tax cut, without the government having to return a penny to any individual person or corporation.”

If you liked this satire by Scott Ott, you can read more of his work at Scrappleface.

PS: No one show any of this to Olympia Snowe, John McCain, and George Voinovich or they’ll find a way to sneak it into the tax bill — JH

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