Reuters Retracts More Photos Under Cloud of Suspicion By Liberal Larry

When freelance photojournalist Adnan Hajj’s camera caught shocking images of unbelievable destruction brought down upon the peaceloving Hizbollah people by a brutal Zionist aggressor, little did he know it would cause such a firestorm.

It seems the photographs, published by Reuters and described as “IDF forces marching across a field of human skulls while firing indiscriminately at civilians”, were actually publicity stills of a popular Arnold Schwarzeneggar film with Hasidic Jewish hats and beards crudely pasted onto evil terminator robots. Reuters later printed a retraction and apologized for the inconvenience. But as they did with the damning memos proving Bush went AWOL from the Texas Air National Guard to snort coke with Hitler, Digital Brownshirts used the debatable authenticity of the photos to cast doubt upon their accuracy.

An incredulous Hajj insisted he had merely enhanced the images to remove dust that collected on his camera lens, but what he photographed was REAL.

“And it’s gonna feel pretty f–kin’ real to you, too!” he screamed at reporters as the doctors dragged him away. “Anybody not wearing two million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day, get it?! You think you’re safe and alive. You’re already dead! DEAD! Bhahahahahaaa!!!”

It was a reasonable explanation, but apparently not enough for the Blog Nazis. Reuters was inundated with hate mail until they had no choice but to terminate Hahjj and retract all the photos he took of war-ravaged Beirut, including his Pulitzer-Prize winning image of a bombed-out FAO Schwartz.

Hajj’s work opened the world’s eyes to a level of devastation unseen in Lebanon since the Cartoon Riots. But thanks to the same Little Green Turdballs who swiftboated Dan Rather, an award-winning photojournalist is now out of work.

But the future is not set. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. I face mine, for the first time, with a sense of hope. Because if a machine, a Terminator, can learn the value of human life, maybe conservatives can too.

This satire was used with the permission of BlameBush!.

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