RWN’s Ann Coulter Interview #3
John Hawkins: Do you think teachers are underpaid?
Ann Coulter: The good ones are, that’s why they deserve merit pay. The bad ones are overpaid. Too bad their unions don’t let us distinguish between the two.
John Hawkins: Is global warming occurring and caused by mankind?
Ann Coulter: The temperature of the planet has increased about one degree Fahrenheit in the last century. So imagine a summer afternoon when it’s 63 degrees and the next thing you know it’s…64 degrees. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! Run for your lives, everybody! Women and children first! Help! Where’s FEMA, dammit?
John Hawkins: Would you like to see the Miranda decision overturned?
Ann Coulter: Yes! But even more than that, I would like to meet one person, anywhere, anytime, who doesn’t already know from watching TV that they have the right to remain silent and the right to an attorney if they’re arrested. What class of TV-deprived wretches is this rule intended to help, the Amish? Mountain-dwelling end-timers? Survivalist cave people living in polygamous clans?
John Hawkins: In your book, you explain that a number of medical breakthroughs have been achieved with adult stem cells while “embryonic stem cell researchers have produced nothing. They have treated nothing.” Since that’s the case, why do you think there’s such a big push for government funding of embryonic stem cells when they look to be so obviously inferior to adult stem cells?
Ann Coulter: There are lots of leftovers when you abort 1.5 million babies a year. This is the next logical extension of the obsessive recycling mentality. “Hey, don’t just throw away that baby you just aborted. Don’t you know how full our landfills are getting? Let’s see if there’s some parts of it we can re-use for other things, like…I don’t know…stem cells?”
John Hawkins: If you were to pick three concepts, facts, or ideas that most undercut the theory of evolution, what would they be?
Ann Coulter: 1. It’s illogical. 2. There’s no physical evidence for it. 3. There’s physical evidence that directly contradicts it. Apart from those three concerns I’d say it’s a pretty solid theory.
John Hawkins: If the science behind evolution doesn’t stand-up, why do you think so many people who should know better so fervently believe in evolution?
Ann Coulter: A century of brain-washing combined with a desperate need to not believe in an intelligent designer.
John Hawkins: Do you think evolution, intelligent design, or something else should be taught in schools?
Ann Coulter: I would say teach them the one that has the strongest scientific basis to it, and if there’s any time left over at the end of the day you could also teach them about the theory of evolution.
John Hawkins: Why do you think the President and Senate are so hellbent on pushing an immigration bill that has their base up in arms and is obviously bad for America?
Ann Coulter: I honestly don’t know, but I have a nagging suspicion that it has something to do with Ricky Martin.
John Hawkins: As you mention, during the eighties, there was a tremendous push to convince America that, “AIDS didn’t discriminate,” that heterosexuals engaged in sexual activity, in the United States, were just as likely to get AIDS as homosexuals. As we know now, that wasn’t true at all. In your opinion, did the efforts to convince heterosexuals that they were just as at risk as gay men, which seems to have mainly been about raising money for AIDS research and political correctness, end up causing the deaths of a lot of gay men because they believed the propaganda that said they weren’t any more at risk than anyone else?
Ann Coulter: Of course it did. Thousands of gay men died and their blood is on the hands of the so-called AIDS Activists who thought it was more important to push their political and social agendas than it was to educate gay men about the dangers of public, anonymous, promiscuous, multiple-partner unprotected sex. Or as it’s known in West Hollywood, “Friday night.”
John Hawkins: If you could give George Bush a few words of advice, what would they be?
Ann Coulter: I would ask him if he’d given any thought to re-joining the conservative movement. I would remind him that he’s not eligible to run for President again so how about building a proud legacy of genuine immigration reform, genuine tax reform, and Janice Rogers Brown on the Supreme Court?
John Hawkins: Every few months, it seems like a new story pops up that features liberals, in an effort to try to prevent you from speaking, disrupting one of your speeches at a college. Why do you think so many liberals seem to support those tactics which are generally associated with fascists?
Ann Coulter: I think you’ve answered your own question. At least they can’t stop us from speaking by sending out victim-spokespeople anymore. Now I guess they’ll have to go back to complaining about “hate speech.”
John Hawkins: Earlier this year, Sean Penn admitted that he keeps an Ann Coulter doll around that he tortures for fun. Any comment on that beyond the fact that Penn is obviously mentally disturbed?
Ann Coulter: I’d always suspected that Sean Penn was the type of “man” who plays with dolls, but I assumed that he liked the life-sized ones you have to inflate first.
John Hawkins: There has been some controversy over your supposedly voting in the wrong precinct in Florida. Can you tell us anything about that?
Ann Coulter: No, I can’t.
John Hawkins: How about dashing off a quick sentence or even just a word or two about the following individuals…
Cindy Sheehan: The Dennis Rodman of the peace movement.
Joe Wilson: World’s most intensely private exhibitionist.
Michael Moore: Rumors of his depth are greatly exaggerated.
John Murtha: The reason soldiers invented “fragging.”
George Bush: My Commander-In-Chief.
John McCain: War hero and let’s leave it at that.
Alec Baldwin: Our main source of so-called “greenhouse gases”.
John Hawkins: Can you tell us a little bit about your new book, Godless.
Ann Coulter: Yes, it’s available at fine bookstores everywhere. Look for it behind the ceiling-high stacks of Al Franken and Hillary Clinton books. If you get to the 40-foot pyramid of the Da Vinci Code hardcovers, you’ve gone too far.
John Hawkins: Is there anything else you’d like to say or promote before we finish up?
Ann Coulter: Yes, today I’m plugging integrity, courage, honesty, and patriotism.
PS: Full disclosure. Ann Coulter’s book is being advertised on Right Wing News.
PS #2: This interview was conducted via email.