Sarah Palin In The National Enquirer: All The Details

One of things I do semi-regularly here at Right Wing News is read the big political tabloid trash stories and analyze them so that you don’t have to do it. Granted, most of these stories are nothing but unprovable rumor and innuendo, but every once in a while, they do turn up a John Edwards affair or Bill Clinton holding hands with a woman in public.

Well now, the hot new politician on the block is Sarah Palin and the Enquirer has gone to work on her. Here’s the teaser from their website,

“The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively that Sarah’s oldest son, Track, was addicted to the power drug OxyContin for nearly the past two years, snorting it, eating it, smoking it and even injecting it. And as Track, 19, heads to Iraq as part of the U.S. armed forces, Sarah and her husband Todd were powerless to stop his wild antics, detailed in the new issue of The ENQUIRER, which goes on sale today.

THE ENQUIRER also has exclusive details about Track’s use of other drugs, including cocaine, and his involvement in a notorious local vandalism incident.

“I’ve partied with him (Track) for years,” a source disclosed. “I’ve seen him snort cocaine, snort and smoke OxyContin, drink booze and smoke weed.”

The source also divulged the girls would do anything for Track and he’d use his local celebrity status to manipulate other guys “to get them to steal things he wanted.”

“He finally did what a lot of troubled kids here do,” the source divulged. “You join the military.”

And as Gov. Palin has billed the state of Alaska for various expenses related to her children, as reported by The Washington Post, The ENQUIRER’s investigation reveals that she was so incensed by 17-year-old Bristol’s pregnancy that she banished her daughter from the house.

Another family friend revealed pre-prego Bristol was as much of a hard partier as Track was.

“Bristol was a huge stoner and drinker. I’ve seen her smoke pot and get drunk and make out with so many guys. All the guys would brag that the just made out with Bristol.”

When Sarah found out the teen was pregnant by high schooler Levi Johnston, she was actually banished from the house. As part of the cover-up, Palin quickly transferred Bristol to another high school and made her move in with Sarah’s sister Heather 25 miles away!

And the ENQUIRER also learned that Levi Johnston, the baby mamma’s future wedded dada, who was glad handed by John McCain at the GOP Convention, isn’t too happy about his impending shotgun nups either.

“Levi got dragged out of the house to go to Minnesota,” Levi’s friend told The ENQUIRER. “Levi realizes he’s stuck being with Bristol because her mom is running for Vice President.”

The friend also confided that both Bristol and Levi “broke up a few times and they definitely messed around with other people.”

Meanwhile, as members of the Palin family’s war viciously over “Trooper-Gate” and claims of Sarah’s extramarital affair have turned the political race into a chaotic arena of threats, denials and vicious attacks by political black ops, The ENQUIRER has discovered shocking new details about the red-hot affair scandal!

I bought the issue, I read it and here’s the big thing: despite that eye catching tease, there’s not a single, on the record source in the entire article. In fact, the only person who is quoted at all is Andrew Halco, a Democrat that Palin beat for governor, who said, “I used to think that ‘family’ was off-limits, as far as politicians go. But, Sarah Palin uses her kids as campaign props.”

The fact that the Enquirer closed with Halco’s ludicrous argument — as if Palin’s family being in photo ops is significantly different than the way Obama’s children, Malia and Sasha, have been used — shows that they don’t feel comfortable about targeting her children.

Truthfully, they shouldn’t feel comfortable with it; they’re printing wild, sketchy allegations about teenagers, based on absolutely unprovable anonymous accusations — and why? Because their mother happens to be a big name politician? It’s a bit on the sleazy side, even for the Enquirer.

They also claim Sarah Palin had an affair, but they say it was a decade ago and neither of the principles is willing to talk. That means that even if the story is true — and so far, there is no evidence whatsoever that it is — it isn’t going to go anywhere. Accusations about affairs aren’t unusual in politics, but you always need a little extra “oomph” to make them take off. A stained blue dress, one of the two people talking, somebody showing up at the baby mamma’s hotel room — none of that is present here.

All in all, I’m sure all these allegations will be incorporated into the left-wing lore about Palin because the liberal blogosphere’s standards really aren’t much different than those of the Enquirer — but as of yet, the Enquirer doesn’t have anything on Palin other than a lot of claims they don’t seem capable of backing up.

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