Spelling Bee Protests?

Warning Will Robinson, warning!!! What you are about to read is, I repeat, is, a REAL news story, not satire….

“Protesters delivered a message yesterday to the national spelling bee: Enuf is enuf! Members of the American Literacy Society picketed the 77th annual spelling bee, which is sponsored every year by Cincinnati-based Scripps Howard.

The protesters’ complaints: English spelling is illogical, and the national spelling bee only reinforces the crazy spellings that they say contribute to dyslexia, high illiteracy and harder lives for immigrants.

“We advocate the modernization of English spelling,” said Pete Boardman, 58, of Groton, N.Y. The Cornell University bus driver admitted to being a terrible speller.

Protester Elizabeth Kuizenga, 56, is such a good speller that she teaches English as a second language in San Francisco. She said she got involved in the protest after seeing how much time was wasted teaching spelling in her class.

…The protesters contend that the illogical spelling of English words makes dyslexia more difficult to overcome and helps explain studies that suggest one in five Americans are functionally illiterate.

“If these people were able to read and write with a simplified spelling system, they would be able to fill out a job application, stay employed and stay out of prison,” said Sanford Silverman, 86. The retired accountant was handing out copies of his book, “Spelling for the 21st Century: The Case for Spelling Reform.”

Carrying signs reading “I’m thru with through,” “Spelling shuud be lojical,” and “Spell different difrent,” the protesters drew chuckles from bee contestants.”

Yes, just when you think protesting can’t get any sillier than a bunch of left-wing wackos wearing “No blood for oil shirts” & carrying giant puppet heads, these hosers come along.

Can I make a suggestion here? Why don’t these goofs stop wasting their time spell checking and just go buy themselves computers with spell checkers? The rest of America is not going rewrite every book ever made & “unlearn” how to spell just to please a teacher who is too lazy to teach her students English, some guy who never learned how to spell, & an 86 year-old accounting crank. So like it or lump it, you kooks!

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