Stop Questioning My Patriotism — Satire By Iowahawk

Iowahawk Special July 4 Guest Commentary
by Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi

Americans are famous for their diversity, and nowhere is this diversity more on display than in the various ways we celebrate the Fourth of July. Whether you are a traditional infidel enjoying hot dogs and cold watermelon, a recent immigrant infidel celebrating your new citizenship with a colorful piñata full of sweet treats, or like me, a not-as-yet-arrived-there-American who celebrates our independence through videotaped beheadings, we Americans have an almost infinite variety of ways of ‘lighting up the Fourth.’

Unfortunately, there are some who are angered by this rich Independence Day tapestry of watermelon and piñatas and decapitations, and express their anger through intolerance. Ironically, these angry voices have chosen to ignore the message of the Founding Infidels, and have instead lashed out against their fellow Americans, and aspiring-Americans, by openly questioning our patriotism and threatening our civil liberties with their GPS-guided ‘Bunker Busters.’

Sadly, this chorus of intolerance has grown since America embarked on its disastrous campaign of militarism in the Mideast. Instead of focusing on the real issues that trouble us — like rampant poverty, Zionist aggression, and our immodestly dressed female cousins who have dishonored our clans — these ‘neocon’ voices have sought to distract us with a stupid war for oil and empire. Those of us who have stood up in principled, armed opposition to Bush’s misadventure have been branded “unpatriotic.”

This chilling wind should alarm the millions of Americans and future-Americans everywhere who have called for the immediate timed withdrawal of US troops from Iraq, and have expressed their opinion through their local newspapers, peace marches, and rocket-propelled grenades. It sometimes seems that the Administration is more interested in the “rights” of their foreign Iraqi clients than the rights of their own citizens, and their own inevitable invading conquerors.

If nothing else, the Fourth of July should prompt all Americans, whether they are an infidel fornicating whore-woman in a Miami strip club or a fresh-faced enlistee in a secret Prague martyr cell, to reflect on the true meaning of ‘patriotism.’ To me, patriotism is not some empty flag-waving gesture, or spouting jingoistic slogans. To me, dissent is the real patriotism. And what could be more patriotic than the ultimate in dissent – bloody jihad against the kufr and their heretic puppets in Baghdad?

So, on this day when we mark the birth of the Great Satan, let us remember that true patriotism is not a “one-size-fits-all” idea. While there may be precious little to celebrate America as it is, millions of us real patriots will continue to celebrate the idea of America as it could be. Allah willing.

This satire was used with the permission of Iowahawk.

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