Taking Sarah Palin Derangement Syndrome To Its Natural Conclusion

Believe it or not, someone actually wrote the words you are about to read to a useless, 5th rate Ann Landers over at Salon, named Cary Tennis,

And then came Sarah. My reaction to her, and the way the Republican Party threw her in our faces, and the pandering and hypocrisy that was behind their decision to do so, was immediate, visceral, and indeed, vicious. I have crossed every line I believed should never be crossed in public discourse — I have criticized not only her policies and her record, but her hair, her personal style, her accent, her abilities as a mother, etc. I’ve also begun to suffer personally and professionally. I bore my friends with my constant tirades against her, and am constantly distracted from my work by my need to continually update myself on the latest criticism, and indeed, ridicule, of her. In my hatred for her, I have begun to hate myself.

I don’t want this woman ruining my life before she even gets a chance to ruin our country. How do I stop? Is there a self-help group for this?

Honey, if you’re getting so upset over Sarah Palin that you need to go to a “self-help group,” then you need to stop being so uptight and get laid — oh wait, wait, that’s the erroneous, unasked for advice skanky liberal harpies always seem to be giving to conservative women.

Here’s some sane advice…ahem, she’s a #*^%$&# politician! It’s a profession full of people only slightly more ethical than pimps. Do you really expect to like most of these people?

Oh, but you really, really don’t like her? How many conservatives, do you think, like that habitually dishonest empty suit, Barack Obama, or that loud mouthed idiot Joe Biden? Hell, a lot of us don’t even like our own nominee, John McCain. But, are we freaking out? I hope not. If we lose this election and there are conservatives going to therapy over this, nothing personal, but I will be pointing and laughing — and I am a psychology major. I could have ended up being the guy treating people like that.

So, take a few deep breaths, stop getting so wound up, and remember that it’s only politics. Heck, if need be, stop paying attention to politics altogether. Trust me; the whole, bloody mess will go on without you and there’s absolutely nothing happening here that’s worth beginning to “hate myself” or having to go to a “self-help group.” If politics makes you that unhappy, then there are other healthier, more fulfilling pursuits you should try.

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