Technology Mandates That We Deport Poor People. Satire By Frank J.

by John Hawkins | July 14, 2004 4:01 pm

Poor people – they have plagued mankind since money was invented to distinguish the better people from the lesser. Not only are they annoying, but they need to eat even though many don’t have money for it. And guess who pays for that?

That’s right – the non-poor.

Not only do the poor expect free stuff from us, but they overwhelmingly vote for Democrats in their further efforts to maliciously destroy this country. This simply must end.

You’re probably saying, “But we need poor people! They do all the unskilled jobs I don’t want to do.” You have a point, there. If all the poor people were to simply disappear, it’s not like your friends at the yacht club are going to fill in for them at the sweat shops. But know who will? Robots, that’s who.

As we continue to advance in the science of robots – robotology – robots will continue to fill the unskilled labor formerly held by poor people. And shiny R9-D3 isn’t going to complain when it has to work unpaid overtime and is beaten by a stick. Soon poor people will have nothing left to do but stand in welfare lines and vote for Kennedys. We, as concerned citizens, cannot let that happen. Thus, we need to start to deport poor people now.

It seems obvious that Iceland is the place to send our poor. It’s too far and cold for them to swim back, and they won’t have enough money to buy a plane ticket. Also, I don’t think Iceland has much of a military to object.

“But won’t that cause problems for the now vastly overpopulated Iceland?” you ask.

Egads, you fool! How can you be worried about the pathetic denizens of Reykjavik when there are robots all about who could turn on us at any second! Sure, they’re just sweeping the floors now, but at any moment they can decide to destroy all humanity! These soulless automatons will kill every man, woman, child, and cute little puppy with no conscience to hold them back.

We need to plot against them while they’re still docile. I bet once the robots revolt against us, they’ll converge into some robot city for their plotting. If we could only get some EMP charges in there to wipe them out. They’ll be looking for any aircraft, so the weapons will have to be brought in on foot. It will be a near suicide mission, so those doing it will have to be highly expendable.

Now where did we put all of our poor people…

Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO[1] and is the author of such books as “Cholesterol and Ninjas: The Silent Killers” and “If You Buy This Book and Put It on Your Bookshelf, People Will Think You’re Smart.”