The Goracle Captures The Nobel Peace Prize

12 Oct, 2007 by John Hawkins

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“Thanks to Al Gore, now polar bears will no longer be drowning, (which means they’ll be) free to continue to kill and maim any humans that comes into contact with them, (thereby) contributing to world peace.” — Cassy Fiano

Believe it or not, the Norwegian Nobel Prize Committee has handed out a 2nd Nobel Peace Prize for annoying American conservatives in a mere five years time. Yes, I know that sounds very “high school” of them, but they really are that shallow. In fact, when they gave Jimmy Carter an award back in 2002, despite the fact that he hadn’t done much of anything that year to merit it, the Committee Chairman basically admitted what they were doing,

“(The 2002 Nobel Peace Prize) should be interpreted as a criticism of the line that the current (U.S.) administration has taken. It’s a kick in the leg to all that follow the same line as the United States.” — Nobel Committee Chairman Gunnar Berge on giving Jimmy Carter the Nobel Peace Prize

The Goracle’s “Let’s tweak the American right” award may be even more of a stretch than Carter’s given how hard it is to even connect the extremely minimal amount of warming the planet underwent from roughly 1970 to 1998 to world peace.

Part of the problem may be that world politics has made real peace making extremely difficult.

Most of the world insists that any peace making be done through the utterly ineffective United Nations, which is, as much as anything, because most nations have let their militaries decline to the point that they’re not capable of making peace anywhere and would rather foist the responsibility onto other shoulders.

Worse yet, actually using force of arms to make peace between warring parties without the approval of half the world is frowned upon to such an extent that it’s not politically correct to support “peace keeping” that goes much beyond, let’s say, making wildly inaccurate propaganda films about global warming.

But, let’s be honest here: what fun would it be for the sort of people who really care about the Nobel Peace Prize– if whoever the US President is wins the award every single year for keeping China out of Taiwan, North Korea out of South Korea, Israel’s neighbors from launching an invasion, India and Pakistan away from each other’s throats, etc., etc., etc?

So, why not Gore?

He fits in well with the generally pleasant lightweights, PC heroes of the moment, and hapless international groups that have dominated the awards from the nineties onward.