The Huffington Post Tries To Save The Planet, One Idling Engine At A Time

Imagine this situation: You’re driving the car down the road and you realize that you need to make a short call on your cell phone. Being a responsible driver, you pull to the side of the road, dial the digits, and suddenly this woman you’ve never met before in your life, Suzy Shuster from the Huffington Post, walks up to your car and says,

Me: Hey. Why don’t you turn your car off while you’re just sitting there.

(Note to self — a simple “please” gets you places.)

Douche bag in Bentley: vroom vroom – he guns his engine to make very intimidating manly noise as if to tell me off.

Me: Turn off your car…what’s your problem?

DIB: Why don’t you get a job so you can find a better way to spend your time other than harassing people?

Me: Are you kidding me? Why don’t you take your small penis car out of my neighborhood, you douche bag?

He then peeled away from the curb and yelled out the window at me as I walked away that I probably had some movie deal waiting for me at home, and why didn’t I go deal with it, which I found remotely amusing and completely irrelevant.

Now I don’t condone anger or violence, or even the use of the term douche bag, but what could possibly be the big deal, and why would someone feel the need to freak out over a simple request to cut an unnecessarily running engine in this day and age? And according to the United States Environmental Protection Agency’s press release from the Office of Mobile Sources, emissions from an idling car doesn’t just contribute to global warming, it wastes gas.

She’s a smug, self-righteous liberal shrew who’s nagging and insulting a guy on the street that she doesn’t even know because he hasn’t turned his car engine off, but he’s supposed to be the jerk.

PS: I’m surprised that Suzy didn’t suggest that the federal government jail people who allow the engine of their car to run for more than 30 seconds after they’ve parked their cars. That would be about par for the course amongst environmental wackos these days.

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