The new criticism

Slate Magazine is diagramming Sarah Palin’s sentences, and concludes — surprise! — she’s a doofus.

Scanning this article (it is not worth more than a scan), what is remarkable is that despite being one of the best all-around destinations on the Internet for good, insightful writing, when it comes to politics Slate remains utterly unselfconscious in its bias. There isn’t the slightest suggestion that the exercise of diagramming Sarah Palin’s sentences, which author Kitty Burns Florey starts out by characterizing as “scal[ing] the heights of inanity,” would be a tad more compelling if some control subject were suggested.

Diagram this

I’m not even asking that they apply this new brand of political analysis to the brilliant oral thinkings of the Honorable Barack Obama; we know that is unnecessary seeing as how he is a certified intellectual and academician. His words are beyond diagramming; they are our future, made flesh.

But … Joe Biden? Are his verbal jetés (forget the fibbing part) really amenable to a diagram that Kitty wants someone with time on his hands on the GOP side to throw up there for serious analytical scrutiny?

How about — any politician on earth? The stentorian John Kerry? Bill Clinton — whoa, yes, there are some sentences in that portfolio I’d love to chart. Also the Missus over there, yes, some real beauts.

“Sentence diagramming”: It’s the new way to make your political cheap shots look pointy-headed and thoughtful-like!

Diagram this: Duh.

Originally posted on Likelihood of Success, Ron Coleman’s earlier, funnier blog.

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