The North American Union Conspiracy Goes “Interplanetary”

Oh, good grief! They’re actually asking George Bush, Stephen Harper, & Felipe Calderon about the moronic North American Union conspiracy theory…well, wait, I shouldn’t call it “moronic.”

I mean sure, most of the people who buy into it are morons, but some of them are incredibly uninformed, crazy, or in a few cases, dishonest con men who hope to make a few more bucks or pull in a few more eyeballs by scaring people who don’t know any better with a ridiculous conspiracy theory. So, just writing them off as morons doesn’t cover the full scope of idiocy related to the NAU conspiracy theory.

Here’s Bush, Harper, & Calderon mocking the stupidity of the whole ridiculous North American Union theory,

President Bush and the leaders of Canada and Mexico yesterday ridiculed the notion that their countries are conspiring to create a regional supergovernment similar to the European Union.

“I’m amused by the difference between what actually takes place in the meetings and by what some are trying to say takes place,” said Mr. Bush, responding to concerns raised by conservative and liberal groups and some U.S. lawmakers.

“It’s quite comical actually, to realize the difference between reality and what some people on TV are talking about.”

Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper joked that a superhighway rumored to be in the works linking the three countries could also be “interplanetary.”

…Mr. Bush said the charges of a plot to form a North American Union were “political scare tactics.”

“You lay out a conspiracy and then force some people to try to prove it doesn’t exist. That’s just the way some people operate,” Mr. Bush said.

…Harper said the trade talks were far more mundane than many realize, citing a morning meeting with business leaders at which one CEO complained that “the rules for jelly bean contents are different in Canada and the United States.”

“They have to maintain two separate inventories. Is the sovereignty of Canada going to fall apart if we standardize the jelly bean? You know, I don’t think so,” Mr. Harper said.

Mr. Calderon said there were “myths” about the SPP, and joked, “I’ll be happy with one foot in Mexicali and one in Tijuana.”

Maybe they can ask them whether the moon is made of green cheese next time or perhaps whether Bush is going to allow the British to re-colonize America in exchange for being knighted by the queen. Heck, while they’re at it, they may as well try to get Bush to admit that he’s a reptile shapeshifter who’s controlling the country for the Illuminati.

Oh wait, wait…I forgot the stunning proof of this whole nutty plot: roads! I mean, the whole idea that we’re expanding highways must be part of a plot to merge the US, Mexico, and Canada because we never build roads for any other reason, do we? Geeze…

The conservative magazines that promote this tripe? They should be ashamed. The bloggers, columnists, radio hosts, and politicians who promote it? After Bush leaves office and our currency isn’t an “Amero” and the Canadians and Mexicans aren’t bossing us around, then all those people should admit that they’re too stupid, gullible, crazy, whatever floats your boat, to have anything to do with politics and they should all do conservatism a favor and retire in shame.

Everything you need to know about the North American Union in a single column is right here.

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