The Quail Hunting Incident Is Symbolic of Everything That’s Right with the Bush Administration — Satire By Frank J.
As soon as I heard that Cheney shot a man in the face, my immediate reaction was, “This is why I voted for Bush.” I’ve had my doubts about President Bush at times, but, as this incident unfolded, it’s reminded me of everything that’s great about his administration.
“You can sum up the Bush Administration as one big hunting accident, and that’s why I love them.”
First off, this incident involves guns. Gun rights are important to this nation, and even Democrats pay lip service to gun owners by saying they support hunting. Cheney didn’t just support hunting, though, but also demonstrated the most important purpose of guns – shooting people. The Bush Administration doesn’t just support guns for sport, they support gun use for self-defense.
One of the worst things about the Democrats is how they are beholden to trial lawyers – a scourge to our country with their constant lawsuits trying to ruin people and drive companies out of business. The Bush Administration, on the other hand, will shoot lawyers in the face – WITH A SHOTGUN! – even if they’re supporters. Now that is the action of people not ruled by special interests.
Also, look who did the shooting. It was Dick Cheney, a seasoned hunter. President George W. Bush has surrounded himself with many people good at what they do, so, instead of Bush wasting time shooting quails and lawyers himself, he left that to who knew it best. It was also left up to him whether to notify the Washington press corps, and he wisely chose not to since those people are dumb and all information is wasted on them.
Some may say that how the quail got away while the innocent lawyer (or, as innocent as lawyers get) took the blast in the face is symbolic of how Osama got away while we accidentally bombed that orphanage full of puppies, but, to me, it reminds me of how the Bush administration is determined to at least try and get the terrorists (quails) even in detriment to their own friends (specifically, Whittington).
Finally, there’s how Cheney didn’t pay for that seven dollar hunting stamp, which is another example of the Bush Administration’s contempt for excessive taxes. Yes, Cheney did eventually make out a check for seven dollars, but I hear he wrote “I hope you choke on this!” on the memo line.
So, all in all, I guess you can sum up the Bush Administration as one big hunting accident, and that’s why I love them.
Frank J. is a syndicated columnist whose columns appear worldwide on IMAO.us and is a frequent contributor to IMAOPodcast.com. He is also the author of such books as “Not in the Face! – A Day with Dick Cheney” and “Extermination at All Costs: The Case Against Quails”.
This satire was used with the permission of IMAO.