The Ten Worst South Park Episodes Of All-Time
After compiling this list, I couldn’t help but notice that several of the episodes that made it had an unusually anti-conservative bent to them (for South Park anyway). I’m not sure if that’s because I liked them less since I’m so conservative or because Parker and Stone aren’t as good at ripping on the right as they are at ripping on liberals. Whatever the case may be, here’s the list.
(Some of the things described here are a bit gross, so I am sticking the list below the fold)10: The Entity
Summary: Mr. Garrison creates a new kind of vehicle – a monowheel that runs on anal and oral power. It becomes a big hit, until it’s discovered that oral and anal power aren’t required
What was mocked: Jews, Segway, the obtrusive hand of the federal government.
What was wrong with it: The monowheel steering being designed by Mr. Garrison, who was in denial about being gay, was sort of funny, but it was a one note joke that got old in a hurry and Kyle’s cousin? He was an extreme caricature of Jews which was, again, another one note joke. So, we went back and forth between Kyle’s dull and irritating cousin and the gross monowheel for the entire episode.
9: Fat Butt and Pancake Head
Summary: Cartman is forced to deal with the pressures of stardom when one of his body parts becomes too famous for its own good. The real Jenny From the Block is enraged to learn that a new “Diva” has stolen her record deal and her boyfriend! South Park will never be the same after Jenny & Ben Affleck meet the new “Ms. Lopez.”
Who was mocked: Jennifer Lopez, Ben Affleck
What was wrong with it: This episode had way too much dialogue that went like this,
“My name is Hennifer Lopez. I eat tacos and burritos.”
It also featured my 2nd least favorite South Park moment of all-time, when Cartman’s hand and Ben Affleck ah….let’s just say, you don’t want to know, so if you don’t know already, I’m not going to tell you.
8: The Passion of The Jew
Summary: After weeks of pressure from Cartman, Kyle finally sees “The Passion.” Cartman’s dream comes true when, as a result of seeing “The Passion,” Kyle has to admit Cartman has been right all along. Inspired by Kyle’s change of heart and a powerful love for Mel Gibson, Cartman incites many of the film’s hardcore fans to band together and carry out its message. Meanwhile, Stan and Kenny also see the movie and embark upon a quest to find Mel Gibson.
What was mocked: Mel Gibson, anti-semitism, The Passion of the Christ.
What was wrong with it: On the one hand, this was a prophetic episode because it took aim at Mel Gibson for being crazy and anti-semitic after The Passion of the Christ came out, but before he had his infamous blow-up at some cops. On the other hand, while they did a great job of portraying Gibson as crazy, he wasn’t “funny crazy,” he was “boring crazy.” That made all the scenes involving him really dull.
7: Best Friends Forever
Summary: Kenny is the only one of his friends to get the newest, coolest portable gaming device and Cartman can’t deal with the injustice – the device is sold out. Will they be able to stay “best friends forever?”
What was mocked: Both sides of the Terri Schiavo fight.
What was wrong with it: It wasn’t a particularly funny episode and for some odd reason, they felt compelled to have angels desperately rooting for them to pull the plug on the Terri Schiavo stand-in (Kenny). That seemed particularly obnoxious.
6: Follow That Egg!
Summary: Mrs. Garrison’s “ex” plans to marry his new love as soon as the governor signs the bill allowing gay marriage in Colorado. As Slave and Big Gay Al prepare to marry, the townspeople of South Park rally the governor to outlaw gay marriage. In a fit of jealously, Mrs. Garrison develops his own case study using the kids to prove that same sex couples cannot care for a child. The boys are determined to get an “A” on their class assignment and Mrs. Garrison is just as committed to seeing they fail.
What was mocked: People opposed to gay marriage.
What was wrong with it: It wasn’t that funny of an episode — it felt very forced — and it was a bit odd for South Park to make a transsexual who was angry because his/her former gay lover wanted to marry another gay man the stand-in for people opposed to gay marriage.
5: Mr Hankey’s Christmas Classics
Summary: A collection of songs hosted by Mr. Hankey. Mailman Timmy begins things with his rendition of “Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.” Mr. Garrison sings about Christmas, Mr. Mackey sings the Carol of the Bells, the Broflovskis sing the Dreidl song, Cartman sings about O Holy Night. Satan sings about Christmas time in hell. Santa and Jesus perform a duet.
What was mocked: Christmas songs.
What was wrong with it: Matt Stone and Trey Parker are surprisingly good at coming up with catchy little ditties and parody songs, but a whole show full of them? No thanks!
4: The Return of Chef!
Summary: The town is jolted out of a case of the doldrums when Chef suddenly reappears. While Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman are thrilled to have their old friend back, they notice that something about chef seems different. When Chef’s strange behavior starts getting him in trouble, the boys pull out all the stops to save him.
What was mocked: Isaac Hayes, Scientology, pedophiles
What was wrong with it: This episode was a response to Isaac Hayes quitting the show after becoming offended by the show’s attack on Scientology. Chef’s lines were culled from things Hayes had previously said on the show and while that was funny for about 60 seconds, it got old really quick — and the idea of a club that travels around the world molesting children to stay young? Ugh!
3: Fantastic Easter Special
Summary: Stan just wants someone to explain what eggs have to do with Jesus dying for his sins. Determined to get the real story behind all of the eggs and bunnies that are part of the Easter ritual, Stan and Kyle fall in with an eccentric society that guards a legendary secret.
What was mocked: Easter, Catholicism, the Da Vinci Code, William Donohue
What was wrong with it: South Park tends to have an, “I believe in God, but not religion,” attitude which leads to a lot of sacrilegious and/or unduly harsh segments when they try to deal with religion. That was compounded in this episode as they took slaps at their foe William Donuhue, whom 95% of their regular viewers probably have never heard of. They do deserve some credit for a few funny lines and their examination of why we’re painting Easter eggs in the first place, but it wasn’t a particularly funny episode.
Summary: Wendy breaks up with Stan because he never spends any time with her. To cheer him up, the boys take him to “Raisins,” a local restaurant known for its cheap food and hot girls. Later, as Stan tries desperately to win Wendy back, Butters believes he’s found the girl of his dreams.
What was mocked: Goths, Hooters, weepy break-ups.
What was wrong with it: This was probably the single least funny South Park episode of all-time. Enough said.
1: A Million Little Fibers
Summary: Towelie gets over his drug addiction and writes a moving book about his experiences. Thanks to Oprah’s support, the book becomes a best seller and his story inspires millions to turn their lives around. However, when he’s caught in a lie by the grand dame of daytime television, Towelie’s old habits start to look mighty appealing.
What was mocked: Oprah
What was wrong with it: This was an utterly bizarre episode that featured Oprah’s vagina and anus conspiring to have her thrown off of TV so that she’d have more time to masturbate. The lowpoint (not just for the episode, but of all-time on South Park) had to be when her vagina, Gary, took hostages and was shot to death by the police.
All summaries were taken from The South Park Scriptorium.
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