The Top 10 Things I’ve Learned From Watching My Dog

Because I believe we can learn from all living creatures — well, except the French — I have been observing my dog Patton in an effort to gain an insight into his keen doggy wisdom.

Now after watching Patton, I am ready to share…

The Top 10 Things I’ve Learned From Watching My Dog

10) The proper way to greet new people is bark insanely at them and then run and jump on the back of their legs when they turn around.

9) Used cat litter is apparently much tastier than you’d think it would be.

8) If it’s cold outside, the area beside the couch is a perfectly acceptable alternate place to poop.

7) Anything that runs from you, be it a child, a cat, or even a car, is just begging to get chased.

6) If you suspect someone is snooping somewhere they shouldn’t be, like at your work cubicle, marking your territory with your own urine will make them think twice before invading your space.

5) There’s nothing that says, “I’m happy to see you” to a good friend like jumping up and down in a circle and then trying to lick them on the mouth.

4) The garbage is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to find when you go rooting through it looking for something to eat.

3) You can never really know another living creature unless you sniff its butt.

2) When you meet a female you’re attracted to, just immediately start trying to hump her. If she likes it great, but if she growls, it was never meant to be…until she’s in heat.

1) Drinking out of the toilet bowl in a pinch is A-OK!

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