The Top 9 Signs The Democrats Have Gone Completely Crazy In Reaction To The Polls By Frank J.

by John Hawkins | September 8, 2004 5:32 pm

I’m Afraid He’s Suffering from a Severe Form of “Being a Democrat”
Democrats are going crazy from the latest poll numbers showing Bush got a huge bounce from the convention and want to slime the president in anyway possible and somehow prop up John F’n Kerry. How can you tell if they’ve completely lost it? I’ll tell you:

TOP NINE SIGNS THE DEMOCRATS HAVE GONE COMPLETELY CRAZY IN REACTION TO THE POLLS

9. Strategy for debates: Answer every question with “I served in Vietnam!”

8. Instead of comparing Bush to Hitler, they try to prove he actually is him in disguise.

7. They give up on the Kerry campaign and start working fulltime on the “Bush Stole the Election!” campaign.

6. Elephants are found mysteriously murdered throughout the nation’s zoos (or, alternatively, Democrats are found mysteriously stomped to death in Elephant pens throughout the nation while others are mistakenly placed in cages in the monkey house).

5. Kerry’s campaign staff is replaced with the smartest animal of all – dolphins. Kerry’s campaign become much more focused on procuring fish than usual.

4. Find Bush permanent record for more dirt. “Do you want someone who was ‘sometimes disruptive’ to be your president?”

3. Since the $1000 haircut didn’t seem to help John Kerry, they try a $2000 haircut.

2. They try to use VP candidate John Edwards’s talking to the dead powers to get the support of John F. Kennedy.

And the number one sign the Democrats have gone completely crazy in reaction to the polls…

To be honest, I think most went insane sometime during the primary when they thought Kerry was “electable.”

If you enjoyed this satire by Frank J., you can read more of his work at IMAO[1].