The Top Ten South Park Episodes Of All-Time
Honorable Mention) Episode Title: Lice Capades
Summary: When a breakout of headlice hits South Park Elementary, Ms. Garrison refuses to say which child brought the plague to the school. So, Cartman takes it upon himself to find out who it is so the kids can make fun of them. Meanwhile, a louse Travis, is desperate to save his fellow lice from imminent destruction from a conscious world.
What was mocked? Cheesy environmental movies.
Notable Quotable: Cartman: Kenny McKormick, you are charged of bringing head cooties into our school. How do you plead?
Kenny: (Muffled) Not guilty!
Cartman: Guilty! I thought so
Honorable Mention) Episode Title: Sexual Harassment Panda
Summary: Cartman sues Stan for sexual harrassment.
Who was mocked? Sexual harassment laws, lawyers
Notable Quotable: Gerald Brofloski: “You see, Kyle, we live in a liberal-democratic society, and Democrats make sexual harassment laws. These laws tell us what we can and can’t say in the work place, and what we can and can’t do in the work place.”
Kyle Brovslofksi: “Isn’t that Fascism?”
Gerald Brofloski: “No, because we don’t call it Fascism.”
10) Episode Title: Korn’s Groovy Pirate Ghost Mystery
Summary: On Halloween, the boys are plagued by fifth graders and the town is overrun by pirate ghosts. Music group Korn assists and sings “Falling Away from Me.”
Who was mocked? Scooby Doo, churches that complain about Halloween.
Notable Quotable: DJ: Well, here’s some kids enjoying the Halloween haunt now. Hey, boys, what do you think of cozy FM’s Halloween haunt so far?
Stan: This one time, like eight months ago, I saw two guys kissing in a park. And that was the gayest thing I’d ever seen until I saw the cozy FM Halloween haunt.
9) Episode Title: Gingers
Summary: Cartman convinces the other kids that red haired, freckled people are evil — until he becomes one.
Who was mocked? White Supremacists, Red haired, freckled people.
Notable Quotable: Doctor: Ms. Cartman, I know this must be very difficult for you. I, for one, can’t stand red-haired freckled kids. But you need to understand, there is no cure. Your son will be ginger his whole life. You might want to just… put him down.
8) Episode Title: The Jeffersons
Summary: A wealthy black man and his son stir things up. All the children of South Park are attracted to “Mr. Jefferson,” his son and their home filled with games, toys and animals. Cartman goes out of his way to get “Mr. Jefferson” to love him, while the local police force resent him for being black and wealthy and decide to bring him down.
Who was mocked? Michael Jackson, the idea that police target wealthy black men because of race
Notable Quotable: Maggie: (Sergeant Yate’s wife) Believe me, I would love nothing more than to have you quit the force and no longer have to worry about whether or not you’re coming home. But I know you. Framing rich black men for crimes they didn’t commit is in your blood. Wiping that rich, smug smile off their faces is the only thing that puts a smile on yours. You’re a good cop, Harrison Yates.
7) Episode Title: Tsst
Summary: When Cartman’s mom realizes she can’t control her son anymore, she gets help from an expert. Cesar Millan, “The Dog Whisperer,” takes on the challenge and while he might have what it takes, Eric Cartman’s not going down without a fight.
Who was mocked? Nanny reality shows, permissive parents.
Notable Quotable: Nanny Stella: Whenever you are naughty, Eric, you are going to sit on this stool for five minutes.
Cartman: And what exactly keeps me on the stool?
Nanny Stella: It’s the time-out stool. You can’t get down until the time is up.
Cartman: (hops off stool) Whoa! How did I do that?
Nanny Stella: Eric, you have to stay in time-out.
Cartman: Umm, no?
Summary: The grand vacation begins when the boy’s parents are offered a free ski trip to Aspen, but of course, there’s a catch: they have to attend one meeting about time-share opportunities. Meanwhile on the slopes, Stan has a run-in with one of the locals and is challenged to race the best skier on the mountain.
Who was mocked? Ski movies, Condo sales
Notable Quotable: “Hey! You guys ever seen this trick? When someone’s sleeping you can take a glass of warm water and you put their hand in it, and then you pee on them.” — Cartman
5) Episode Title: Douche & Turd
Summary: PETA demonstrates against the use of a cow as South Park Elementary’s mascot and the student body is forced to choose a new one. Cartman and Kyle come up with opposing ideas and try to encourage kids to get out and vote. As the election approaches, Kyle tries to convince everyone that his candidate, a giant douche, is better than Cartman’s nominee, a turd sandwich. Stan decides not to vote for anyone. Puff Daddy hears about this and tries to change Stan’s mind.
Who was mocked? PETA, Puffy Daddy, Elections
Notable Quotable: Puff Daddy: Vote Or Die!
Vote Or Die, mutha F***, mutha f***, Vote Or Die!
Rock the vote or else
I’m gonna stick a knife through your eye
Democracy is founded on one simple rule
Get out there and vote or I’m a mutha f****** kill you (yeah)
I like it when you vote bitch,
Shake them t***ies when you vote b*tch.
I’ll shove my jimmy through your mouth roof,
Now get your big *ss in the polling booth.
I said vote b*tch,
or I’ma gonna mutha f****** kill you
Vote or Die, mutha f***, mutha f***, Vote Or Die
Can’t run from a .38, go ahead and try
let your opinion be heard,
you gotta make a choice
Cuz after I slit your throat,
you won’t have a f****** voice
Vote Or Die, Vote Or Die!
4) Episode Title: Jakovasaurs
Summary: The boys discover two nearly extinct animals while camping on the banks of Stark’s Pond.
Who was mocked? Jar Jar Blinks, Memphis, the French.
Notable Quotable: Cartman: Hey, you guys! Listen to this song I just wrote. It’s called ‘I Hate You Guys’:
(plays harmonica and sings)
I hate you guys. You guys are *ssholes. Especially Kenny. I hate him the most.
3) Episode Title: Gnomes (a.k.a. Underpants Gnomes)
Summary: Finally a South park that deals with the true meaning of life….COFFEE! In this episode, the scamps meet Tweek, a kid after my own heart, and a group of gnomes who have a fetish for Hanes. Plus, actual economical issues…but don’t worry, you won’t learn anything!
Who was mocked? People who don’t like big business, using children in political commercials,
Notable Quotable: “You see, Phase 1: collect underpants. Phase 2: ? Phase 3: Profit.” — Underpants Gnome
2) Episode Title: You Got F*cked in the A
Summary: Stan “gets served” when a group of kids from Orange County challenge him to a dance-off. It’s up to Stan to put a team of South Park’s best dancers together to compete against a rival troupe from Orange County. While Butters has won awards for his dancing, he refuses to help Stan out, as he hasn’t been able to dance since the tragic death of eight audience members at his last competition.
Who was mocked? The movie “You got served”.
Notable Quotable: Rancher: (singing, and the duck dances to it)
You’ll do a line and I’ll do a line, honey.
You’ll do a line and I’ll do a line, babe.
You’ll do a line and I’ll do a line, we’ll fight an’ screw ’til the mornin’ time.
Honey, babe, be mine.
You’ll do a line and I’ll do a line, honey-
Stan: Is that the only song he’ll dance to?
Rancher: No no, he’ll dance to anything. See?
(starts singing to the same tune and the duck dances along)
You’ll snort K and I’ll snort K, honey.
You’ll snort K and I’ll snort K, babe.
You’ll snort K and I’ll snort K, we’ll fight an’ screw all night and day.
Honey, babe, be mine.
Stan: My friends, I think we have ourselves a dance troupe.
1) Episode Title: Rainforest Schmainforest
Summary: The boys accompany a teacher and her singing-and-dancing group to Central America to raise awareness of the rain forest. Also: Kenny falls for a choir member; and Kyle has trouble mastering the choreography.
Who was mocked? The rainforest, South America
Notable Quotable: “There’s a place called the rainforest; it truly sucks a**.
Let’s knock it all down and get rid of it fast.
You say, “Save the rainforest,” but what do you know?
You’ve never been to the rainforest before.
Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To tell you things you might not like to hear.
You only fight these causes ’cause caring sells.
All you activists can go f*** yourselves!
Someday if we work hard, boys and girls,
There’ll be no more rainforests left in the entire world!
Getting Gay With Kids is here!
To spread the word and bring you cheer. Yeah!
Getting Gay With Kids is here!
Let’s knock down the rainforest! What do you say?!
It’s totally gay! It’s totally gay!” — Song from “Rainforest Schmainforest” by the children’s choir called “Getting Gay With Kids”
Time For The First Military Tribunal: Remember this ugly face? When last we heard from Ramzi Binalshibh, he was claiming
The Flight 93 Conspiracy: Like most tragic events of recent times, a myriad of conspiracy theories have sprung up about
W. And The Upside-Down Book: I received an email today from RWN reader Doug Weinberg commenting on the doctored photo