The Top Ten Suggested Lines For Bush’s Iraq Speech Last Night By Frank J.

10. “For those who say this war is excessive, I propose a twenty percent reduction in the size of Ted Kennedy’s head and a hundred percent reduction in the sounds coming out of it.”

9. “I’ll hand over Iraq when they leggo my Eggo.”

8. “For those who are vehemently opposed to the war in Iraq, I have this to say to them: I will kill you and your family.”

7. “It wasn’t like Iraq was going to invade itself.”

6. “That mean man Saddam tried to kill my daddy, so I got him good!”

5. “France was really opposed to us invading Iraq, so you know some good would have to come of it.”

4. “I assure you that Iraq will become a full-fledged democracy instead of a quasi-dictatorship like Canada.”

3. “The war has actually been going very well; we just didn’t realize that Iraq would be so [email protected] full of Iraqis.”

2. “As for my opinion on Abu Grahib, I never looked at the pictures because I’m not a pervert. Why? Did you look at them?”

And the number one suggested line for Bush’s Iraq speech…

1. “I was only doing what Cheney and thus Halliburton was telling me to do; go talk to them.”

If you enjoyed this satire from Frank J., you can read more of his work at IMAO.

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