The Web Really Does Bring People Together…To Eat Each Other

The Web Really Does Bring People Together…To Eat Each Other: Just when you think the internet can’t get any weirder, you see something like this

“Berlin – “Are you max 30 years old, with a normal body, then you are just right for me. I want to slaughter you and consume your delicious flesh.

“Please reply with details of age, height and weight, preferably with photo. Your master butcher, Franky.”

“Franky,” the self-confessed German cannibal who wrote the above online ad, did indeed meet a victim ready to be killed, sliced and eaten.

It’s not the kind of advertisement most people would respond to. But on the Internet, where it was posted, someone did.”

Now most people would look at something like that and go, “geeze that’s weird” and move on to another topic. But we here at Right Wing News like to go the extra mile for our readers and that’s why I actually decided to see if I could find any other people out there looking to eat someone or be eaten themselves…and I hit paydirt. Some of these links aren’t safe for work, so don’t hit them if you might have a boss looking over your shoulder or if you’re easily offended.

Here’s someone looking to be eaten alive

“im a 45 year old white male im five eight weight 170 & have a nice firm body but the best part is i have great legs & thighs.they are firm & shaply & im very seriously looking for a women to cook & eat me alive but if there are no women out there a man would do this is no joke i realley want to be eaten alive by awomen or man.i have no one that will miss me & im very healthy.serious E-MAILS ONLY”.

Here’s one from someone called footcannibal, predictably looking to eat part of someone’s foot…

“I am looking to buy a pretty female toe from someone 40 years of age or under. I will pay cash. “

I also ran across some more posts about cannibalism on the forums of cannibals.com. Interestingly enough, it looks like the people who run that page are just a large group of partygoers who call themselves “the cannibals”. But because of the domain name, they’re apparently drawing real (or at least poseur) cannibals to their forums.

Here’s a sample post from their forums about eating a cornea sandwich

“My eyes I thought had deceived me as I swayed in a drunken stuper. It was my unknowing initiation into cannibalism, that precious cycle of flesh feeding flesh. Flailing about as a seasoned drunkard, I scrambled with hunger, thinking I was assembling a hamburger, with a fine slice of onion – though it was her cornea that glistened like an onion, but for I was drunk, so I continued stabbing, before I was through, it was an awful sight, I am so thankful that the alcohol had blined me to what I had done, to what I had become. Needless to say, it was the finest burger I had ever enjoyed, and she was not to be the last.”

Then there’s this young lady who wants to be devoured and someone did ask her to contact them if she’s serious…

“I Want to be your dinner!!!!!!!!!
From: sue brooks

I’m 37, 5,1 and 168lbs. I have alot of meat for you. I don’t want to live anymore, but I don’t want my body to go to waste. I would love for a group of people to enjoy me. I’ll come to you. I have been trying to get fatter for your enjoyment. PLEASE RESPOND, PLEASE EAT ME.”

Then there’s this

“Dear Sirs,

I would like to share with you all a lesson I learned about my life in hopes that it will inspire others like me.

For a long time I wasn’t a very good cannibal. I am not referring to my morals, but speaking strictly in regards to my cannibalistic skills.

As I am sure you will all agree, reputable information on the subject is hard to come by. Acquiring the knowledge and skills necessary to be a successful cannibal is difficult since one must rely on educating oneself. The internet has served as a valuable resource, however this requires sifting through volumes of text, which more often then not, is provided by individuals not serious or dedicated to the subject as the rest of us.

Ultimately, this leaves one avenue of learning, one of self-exploration and experimentation. This is a long and dark avenue, one that we may find ourselves traveling for years alone.

At first, murder was extremely difficult for me. In the early years, it was necessary to find comfort in killing through inebriation. Before dispatching someone I always thought, “What if he gets mad at me when I stab him.” or “I hope she doesn’t cry when I cut off her feet.” The alcohol helped me forget my victims were human until I developed the thicker skin and resolve necessary to perform such tasks.

It took dozens of attempts and failures before I started to get the hang of it. I remember a particular trip to the Wisconsin Dells where my inexperience nearly ended my short career in cannibalism.

I had bludgeoned a hotel clerk in the face with a tire iron and was behind the counter trying to remove his tongue with a pair of scissors I had found in a desk. He was on the floor squirming and complaining a great deal and not dieing as quickly as one might hope in this situation. It was nearly 3am and I assumed I would have several minutes alone to dismember and transfer the clerk to my station wagon. However, this would not be the case.

Suddenly, alarms sounded. I looked through the window of my lobby and noticed a most inconvenient development. A small fire in a neighboring Red Roof Inn had driven its patrons out in the street looking for alternative accommodations. I looked to the sign of the hotel I was in and realized I had made a crucial mistake. The sign read, The Keystone, Vacancy. An experienced murderer would have known to turn of this sort of neon notification.

Taking a deep breath, I stood up and placed my boot on the clerk’s neck, bearing down on his larynx with all my weight. I wiped my brow, attempting to conceal my sweat which had developed from the struggle that took place only moments before. I took off my blonde wig and used a tissue to remove the lipstick I was wearing at the time. Sometimes I kind of dress up like a woman when I kill, I really don’t know why.

The alarms blared into the night as two squad cars and 3 fire trucks pulled in to the parking lot shared by the Keystone and Red Roof Inn. As I feared, the tourists began migrating from the Red Roof, and pouring in my lobby with bags in hand. All of them hopeful for a bed in my inn.

The blood in the clerk’s nose made an unappealing sucking sound as he wheezed painfully for a breath. The tourists lined up and I began to issue them rooms. It was a very awkward experience. I was embarrassed when I initially couldn’t find the room keys. I explained to the customers I was new on the job and not accustomed to keeping such late hours. They all laughed.

When an elderly lady asked me what the gurgling noise was behind the counter I replied, “It’s my cat, he is sick.” She asked my what my name was, I looked down at the clerks name tag. “My name is Samuel”, I said with a smile. Amazingly no comments were made about the blood spatters on the sleeve of my right arm.

After the lobby settled down, I took the clerk and hid in one of the ground level non-smoking rooms. I recall eating his skin while watching a rerun of Wheel Of Fortune with the lights off. Vana White annoys me.

I offer this story to you as a source of encouragement for those of you who are on the brink of abandoning your dreams. With patience you will evolve into the legend you dream. Learning to become a Cannibal is a life long endeavor of dedication and passion. A categorization that must be earned and a title that will distinguish you from all other predators.

Continue to go on when you when simply feel you can’t. Be a “can”ibal, not a “can’t”ibal.

Thank you for your time. I hope to share more tales with you soon. Who knows, maybe a few recipes as well.

Love,

Matthew”

Are they serious or just people goofing around? Got me, but were I in law enforcement, I’d be interested in trying to find out.

Hat tip to Electric Venom for finding the original article about the German cannibal.

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