The Worthlessness Of A “Department Of Peace”

It would be tempting to write off this article as the scribblings of a pie-in-the-sky idealist who no one would ever take seriously if there weren’t already a US Senator and Democratic Candidate for President who have previously come out in favor of his silly idea. What is the idea we’re talking about you ask? Why, a Department of Peace, of course! I’ll let Coleman P. Gorham explain ramble on nearly incoherently…

“Can we say that our goal is to promote peace? Or are we a nation of warriors? If some were to say that we are a peace-loving nation, why don’t we have a Department of Peace to counterbalance our Department of Defense? Where are the peace academies to counterbalance the military academies?

Our military recruiters scour depressed and impoverished communities and offer the enlistees big money bonuses and college educations. When we train thousands of our youth for war, that has to slant our national attitude toward war.

“War begins in the minds of men,” the U.N. charter rightly declares.

Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld tells us that we need a “new institution.” This needs to be a Peace Department plus a Peace Academy. What is preventing our senators and representatives from establishing that? If we don’t insist, they won’t act.

A PEACE Department will not quickly change the nation’s war mentality, but we have to begin somewhere. The failed war on terror and the tens of thousands of dead in its wake make clear that war does not guarantee our security.

The recently created Department of Homeland Security would not have been necessary if we had a Peace Department in place.

Sen. Tom Harkin of Iowa and Rep. Dennis Kucinich of Ohio have both proposed a Peace Department. Why haven’t other legislators followed with support?

The national attitude that war can resolve issues has failed miserably. A Peace Department and a Peace Academy could slowly move us from a war mentality to one of love, hope and peace.”

This idea is actually so ridiculous that it reminds me of the “Underwear Gnomes” episode of SouthPark. Except in this case, it’s…

Step 1: We create a Peace Department!

Step 3: We have Peace!

Of course, there is no step 2, there’s just a bunch of meaningless pap about moving to a ” love, hope and peace” mentality that means less than zero to the sort of people who want to fly airplanes into our buildings.

Can’t you just imagine Gorham, or for that matter Kucinich or Harkin coming up with this idea? It probably went about like this…

“Wow, wouldn’t it be great if we were at peace man? Then all people, in all nations, would be friends and the whole world would be like one giant, peaceful, tie-died commune where we’d all spend our days playing frisbee & hackensack! But, how can we do it, how, HOW? Wait a second, why hasn’t anyone ever thought of this before??? We’ll use the government to fix the problem; the government can fix anything! Once we create a Department of Peace, harmony on earth is guaranteed!”

It all sounds so great doesn’t it? But what the Coleman P. Gorhams of the world do not understand is that thugs like Bashar Assad, Kim Jung-Il, & Muammar Qaddafi, have absolutely no interest in cooperation or peace unless they’re afraid you might just be capable & willing to kill them one day. Deny if you like, but it’s human nature and it’s not going to change anytime soon…

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