Written By : John Hawkins

Some of my favorite Twitter posts from the last few days…

@anamariecox Okay this is a lesson I was slow in learning: If you hate dealing with FB friend requests, do not mention FB account on primetime cable.

@DrewCurtis just saw a guy trying to haggle at Kroger. Worked out about as well as you’d think

@emzanotti Neighbors are having a huge fight in the alley outside my window. Drag queen trying to calm them down and mediate. Man, I love the city.

@abigvictory That’s right. I’m jealous of a video game character. I shoot her every time Todd tries to save her life. I need to get out of the house.

@secrettweet 7876 I’m using my girlfriend for her money. I will break up with her once I make enough

@abigvictory Awkward: Explaining to the IT guy that your password “iwantoballgagyou” has nothing to do with him. More awkward: His abject disappointment

@abigvictory Woman in 7-11 this morning spilled coffee, couldn’t get the ATM to work, then set off her car alarm. Would laugh at her, but it was me.

@redwhiteandnews BREAKING – Obama nominates Ronnie James Dio for Commerce Secy; all Muzak in retail stores to be replaced with 24-hour loop of “Holy Diver”.

@JulieJoyce Should I be worried when the teacher’s comment on my 4 yr old’s spelling test (she got 100) says “Supper!”?

PS: You can find my personal Twitter account here, the RWN/CG account here, and Melissa Clouthier’s account here.

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Written By : John Hawkins

Some of my favorite Twitter posts from the last few days…

@abigvictory Wondering why Wiki is trying to raise 6 million dollars. How much does it cost to make sh*t up?

@JPFreire The bus driver just denied passengers a right to their secret ballots in an election to stop at Burger King. UNION THUGGERY!

@JulieJoyce My 6 yr old just asked my 4 yr old what was her fave Clash song and her reply was “um, do they do Twinkle Twinkle Little Star?”

@darthvader Haven’t decided how I feel about receiving the Ultimate LEGO Millenium Falcon for Xmas. Coolest gift ever or force-choke earning prank?

@GoforNo A No-ism… “Constant dripping hollows out a stone.” – Lucretius

@JulieJoyce Does anyone else have children who say “smell my feet” to another child, then kick him or her really hard in the face?

@stephenkruiser My fave Jefferson quote: “I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government. It is always oppressive.

@abigvictory Accomplished today: Woke. Played Left 4 Dead. Napped. Not accomplished: Brushing hair or teeth, getting dressed. I’m a 16 yr old boy

@redwhiteandnews I don’t care how jolly an old elf you are — if you come down MY chimney in the middle of the night, I’m opening fire

@TheBloggess Hailey’s watching a cartoon where this snowman is selling snow cones. It’s totally horrific if you think about it.

PS: You can find my personal Twitter account here, the RWN/CG account here, and Melissa Clouthier’s account here.

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