Thong-Induced Injury Deserves Class Action Status

Some things are inevitable, you just wonder why it took so long:

As she was attempting to put on a Victoria’s Secret thong, a Los
Angeles woman claims that a decorative metallic piece flew off the
garment and struck her in the eye, causing injuries and a new product
liability lawsuit against the underwear giant. Macrida Patterson, 52,
alleges that she was hurt last May by a defective “low-rise v-string
from the Victoria’s Secret “Sexy Little Thing” line, according to a
lawsuit filed last week in Los Angeles Superior Court. A copy of her
June 9 complaint, which does not specify monetary damages, can be found
below. Patterson’s lawyer, Jason Buccat, told TSG that a “design
problem” caused the decorative piece to come loose and strike Patterson
in the eye, causing damage to her cornea. He added that the eye injury,
which caused Patterson to miss a few days of work, will be “affecting
her the rest of her life.”

Most
women I know have been injured by thongs. Besides the physical damage,
there’s the humiliation of knowing that she’s willfully put a clothing
garment in her butt crack ostensibly to avoid a lesser disaster: the
dreaded panty lines.  Men wouldn’t wear a bra. Men wouldn’t wear high
heels. Men wouldn’t wear panty hose. And men certainly wouldn’t wear
thongs. It’s a conspiracy to create a perpetual state of discomfort and
misery in the fairer sex.

This lawsuit deserves a lot more attention. Women of the world unite!
Bring Victoria’s Secret down for being the purveyors of a clothing
product that has complete disregard for human health and dignity.

Cross-posted at Dr. Melissa Clouthier

Update From John Hawkins:
Half the time, I’m not sure if women are wearing all this uncomfortable
clothing to impress men or other women. However, I do know that if the
planet were all heterosexual men, we’d go out wearing jeans, sweats,
sneakers, and t-shirts with holes in them 90% of the time.

Of
course, if there were no women, we’d all be living in caves and wearing
loincloths because pretty much every major accomplishment in history by
men has been, at its root, about impressing women. Therefore, if there
were no women, no one would have ever invented jeans, sweats, sneakers,
and — well, t-shirts would probably still be around. But, they’d
probably be made out of wood…

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