Top Nine Things Overheard At A Bill Clinton Book Signing By Frank J.

by John Hawkins | June 24, 2004 11:59 pm

Once again, I’m stealing David Letterman’s intellectual property…

9. “He got ‘special sauce’ all over my copy.”

8. “No, I don’t want you to sign my breasts as well.”

7. “Hell no, I’m not going to read all this… but I will beat to death my rival drug dealer with it. Beating someone to death with a presidential memoir… now that’s kill’n with class!”

6. “I think I saw a woman under the table he’s seated at. I wonder what she’s doing?”

5. “Come on! Just stand next to me and say, ‘I did not have sex with that woman!’ while my friend films. It’ll be cool! Oh! And do that thing with your thumb and lip!”

4. “I know I’m just a kid, but you’re a big inspiration to me and… No, I don’t know if my mother is being properly satisfied by my father. Why do you ask?”

3. “No! Sign it with your pen!”

2. “I like how he said how dedicated he is to the women’s movement… or did he say he ‘likes how women move’?”

And the number one thing overheard at a Bill Clinton book signing…

“Aww… I thought this was the line to meet Carter!”

If you enjoyed this satire from Frank J., you can read more of his work at IMAO[1].

Endnotes:
  1. IMAO: http://imao.us

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