Update: Chimps Still Not People In Austria

Back in May, I wrote about a bunch of animal rights wackos in Austria who were “trying to get a chimp declared to be a human being in Austrian courts.

Well, after another Austrian court has blown them off, they’re planning to take their monkey’s case to the Supreme Court,

He’s now got a human name — Matthew Hiasl Pan — but he’s having trouble getting his day in court. Animal rights activists campaigning to get Pan, a 26-year-old chimpanzee, legally declared a person vowed Thursday to take their challenge to Austria’s Supreme Court after a lower court threw out their latest appeal.

A provincial judge in the city of Wiener Neustadt dismissed the case earlier this week, ruling that the Vienna-based Association Against Animal Factories had no legal standing to argue on the chimp’s behalf.

The association, which worries the shelter caring for the chimp might close, has been pressing to get Pan declared a “person” so a guardian can be appointed to look out for his interests and provide him with a home.

Group president Martin Balluch insists that Pan is “a being with interests” and accuses the Austrian judicial system of monkeying around.

“It is astounding how all the courts try to evade the question of personhood of a chimp as much as they can,” Balluch said.

Is there some sort of legitimate question about the, “personhood of a chimp?” A chimp has no “personhood” by virtue of the fact that it’s a chimp.

Moreover, if you had a judge that was dumb enough to declare the chimp to be a person so that the animal rights wackos could “look out for his interests,” can you imagine the can of worms that would open up in the Austrian legal system? Ten years down the road, every monkey in the country would probably have a government appointed guardian collecting welfare checks for it while it was at a taxpayer supported school learning sign language and how to more effectively pick nits out of its fur.

Humans are different from and superior to animals and trying to change that through the legal system is a very foolish and potentially harmful idea.

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