Victim of sexual abuse confronts her 7th grade teacher on video; video goes viral
Sexual abuse is beyond criminal. As the single mother of a nearly 12 year old I cried when I watched this video of this young woman in her twenties confronting her molester basketball coach and teacher when she was in Jr. High. The phonecall is raw and courageous:
Jamie Carrillo posted video last Friday where she confronted her alleged teacher rapist Andrea Cardosa about the alleged assault 15 years ago
Cardosa was recently working as assistant principal at Alahambra Unified School district in California for 4 months
Miss Carrillo said she was just 12 and at Chemawa Middle School in Riverside when Cardosa allegedly first kissed her in the locker room
She told alleged attacker that she has children of her own and that her former teacher’s actions ruined her life and that she is ‘disgusting’.
In the call, she tells the woman, who identifies herself as Andrea Cardosa, that she did something terribly wrong at Chemawa Middle School in Riverside 15 years ago. Cardosa replies: ‘Yes, and I regret it.’
Ms Carrillo then asks what the woman would do if a student told her that she was having a sexual relationship with a teacher to which she replies that she would involve law enforcement.
She asks: ‘So how is that any different from what you did when I was at Chemawa Middle?’
To which the alleged molester answers: ‘It’s not.’
Ms Carrillo goes on to tell her alleged attacker that she has children of her own and that her former teacher’s actions ruined her life and that she is ‘disgusting’.
When she hangs up the phone, Ms Carrillo shows that she made the call on the screen and reads out the number. She says: ‘And I’m shaking like a leaf… not even an ”I’m sorry.” Or anything. Just that she regrets it.’
This happened to Jamie 16 years ago, I shudder to think how common this may be in 2014. I urge you as a parent to create specific structures of daily time for your kids in Jr. High age (10-13) where they are at their most vulnerable. This age they are also at their most obnoxious so it’s easy to tire out trying to get them to converse. Consistency in these 3 things will yield success:
1. Have regular meals at the dinner table with traditional conversations about your day and theirs will keep that line of communication open and natural. Shoot for everyday and you will only miss 1-3 evenings.
2. Additionally, when driving anywhere with them, turn off your radio and your phone and demand they do too; ask them specific questions about their classes and friends almost in a linear way. Everyday when I pick my son up from school I feel like I’m pulling teeth; it is rare that I get deep info from him but when these times happen I am ready to support and advise.
3. This is the age of freedom where they realize they don’t have to really do anything you say. Find ways to help them feel freedom and responsibility without cutting the safety of apron strings. Hold too tightly and they will rebel terribly at 16, hold loosely and the same will happen since they lack the security of structure. Allow your daughter to start wearing a little makeup, give your son control over his room and allow dirty socks on the floor and pizza under the bed. Release personal responsibility to them and perhaps allow your child to have a phone with texting capabilities but make sure they don’t have full access to internet in their room for their protection. Be creative, patient and calmly open in your reprimands.
Most importantly remember that you are not their friend, you are their guardian and guide. being a parent is not suppose to be easy so never give up because the harder you work at it the more rewarding it will be. Please pass this onto your parent friends.