Vote Hillary – She’s A Real Doll By Dan Riehl

by John Hawkins | April 13, 2006 4:20 am

People may not be ready for a Chatty Cathy for President, but Democrats are all but convinced voters won’t be able to pass up Mattel’s new Hillary Says AnythingTalking Doll in 2008!

Do you want a President with a firm stand on immigration? Great. Which stand would you prefer? Just pull the string to the Right[1] and you get: Feb 2003: “I am, you know, adamantly against illegal immigrants.”

Doesn’t sound good? No problemo, compadre … just pull the string to the Left for this little bit of wisdom: April 10, 2006: “Thank you for your contributions to this country.”

Is your country contemplating granting clemency, perhaps to a murdering horde like a bunch of FALN terrorists? Mattel’s Hillary Says Anything Doll has you covered[2]:

Seeking to ingratiate herself to Puerto Rican voters during her New York Senate campaign, Hillary first said she supported clemency for the FALN terrorists, provided they renounced violence.

But when a public backlash ensued against Bill’s clemency offer, Hillary publicly called upon him to “immediately withdraw” his offer.

Yes, folks … the secret is all in the strings. Is war a possibility in your nation’s future? Pull the string to the Right and listen to Hilly-hawk vote for war[3] and support the troops. And if things don’t go as planned? Relax. Just pull the string to the Left for invective and constant criticism of the war effort, while the Right string continues to support the troops, of course. Even if she doesn’t care for those unsightly military types prowling around the White House grounds.

Want an honest Prez? Hillary Says Anything is it. Just pull the Left string and listen to your potential President[4] deride the the culture of corruption[5] that is the sitting administration and just forget about all that that crazy campaign finance fraud[6]. Heck, it was Hollywood – it was the accountants, stoopid!

Maybe you care about things like integrity, morals and family values. Well, Hillary Says Anything does too. Faced with a cavorting mate, Hillary Says Anything is a regular gal who simply stands by her man.[7]. Okay, maybe she doesn’t bake cookies and have teas, but no one is perfect. But just let one of those degenerate, husband stealing ho’s ever have the audacity to speak out, …just flip the string and little miss morality will see to it that crack Democrat operatives rip her lungs out in full public view. Face it, family values don’t come any more dedicated than that, now do they?

Come on, folks! Don’t tax yourself with trying to decide whether to vote Republican or Democrat in 2008. With Hillary Says Anything, you cast one vote and you get both.

Okay, maybe with Hillary Says Anything as President there are some strings attached – like higher taxes, a weakened military, nationalized health care and a Marxist at heart. But, hey, with Hillary Says Anything, between all the strings and her appointing Supreme Court Justices, at least you know you’ll always have unrestricted, especially by that silly late term abortion nonsense, choice!

This content was used with the permission of Riehl World View[8].

Endnotes:
  1. to the Right: http://michellemalkin.com/archives/004959.htm
  2. has you covered: http://buffalo.craigslist.org/pol/143428670.html
  3. listen to Hilly-hawk vote for war: http://www.newsmax.com/archives/ic/2005/11/29/195654.shtml
  4. listen to your potential President: http://home.att.net/~jrhsc/hillary.html
  5. the culture of corruption: http://www.investors.com/editorial/IBDArticles.asp?artsec=20&artnum=1&issue=20060406
  6. that crazy campaign finance fraud: http://www.hillaryproject.com/index.php?/weblog/top_donor_seeks_to_expose_hillarys_chappaquiddick/
  7. stands by her man.: http://news.scotsman.com/topics.cfm?tid=833&id=625452003
  8. Riehl World View: http://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/

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