Vote Patton For President In 2008!

Patton is calling for a wall on the border, but as a compromise, he demands that it have doggy doors so that our new pitbull and rottweiler border patrol agents can freely go back and forth. He also favors slashing government spending, especially on any program that benefits cats. He does, however, favor subsidies for the dog food industry and a bouncy, squeaking ball in every home.

Patton also proposes that we reduce the demand for gasoline, which would cut into the cost, by banning trips to the vet or trips to pet stores that involve buying supplies for cats.

Patton also believes we need bomb sniffing dogs at the ports, attack dogs in Iraq, and that we should be willing to sacrifice as many cats as necessary to stop the terrorists.

Furthermore, Patton has a message for Iran. He doesn’t like it when squirrels ignore his demands that they stay off of his lawn. That’s because squirrels are a menace and he believes we must do whatever it takes to protect the lawn from that menace. If Patton becomes President, America will become his lawn and Iran will become the squirrel. Would you allow a squirrel to have nuclear weapons? Neither would Patton!

Remember that all those other politicians are just Washington insiders, many of whom probably secretly sympathize with cats. On the other hand, Patton is an ultimate outsider. He doesn’t go to Washington parties. He doesn’t ask Harry Reid who his Supreme Court nominees should be. He does what’s right for America, not what consultants or pollsters say. In fact, the last time he used a poll was when he peed on one as a puppy.

So, in 2008, vote for Patton. People have always said that a dog is man’s best friend and after Patton is elected President, he will prove it!

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