Wouldn’t You Give Your Hand to a Friend? By Liberal Larry
It speaks volumes about the forgiving nature of our French and German friends that they don’t run the Shrub out of Europe on a rail, especially in regards to recent events. Last week, Bush asked for $100 million to help improve the Polish Army. Yup, the KILBASA KORPS! Congress must have thought it was some sort of sick Polack joke. The nation that caused WW2 will have new tanks and planes, and the once mighty French army that led the allies to victory in Europe lies in disuse and disrepair. Even De Gaulle’s cherished 4th Armoured Division can no longer afford to feed it’s goats, let alone armour them. It’s no wonder the whole world hates us, but it explains Bush’s weeklong European suck-up-athon. It’s time to pay off his corrupt little minions, while at the same time wheedling for support from those he spent 4 years insulting with his swaggering.
Bush was too proud to crawl to our European allies and beg them to be equal partners in this illegal and immoral war before he started it, now he wants them to hop on board when Iraq is in ruins and there’s nothing left to loot? He’ll have to put a little icing on that eclair if he wants help out of this quagmire. He might have to take some of those lucrative rebuilding contracts he handed out to his Coalition of the Coerced and the Bribed, and give them to our REAL friends…yes, our bestest and most truest friends who stand by us in clear weather and are always there when they need us.
But Bush’s tiny chimp brain can’t comprehend the concept of “friendship”. He thinks that a “friend” is obligated to obediently back your play whenever you pick a fight, or at least not side with your enemy against you. But what if your enemy pulls out a pair of brass knuckles and kicks both your @sses? What will it accomplish for both you AND your friend to be beaten senseless? Worse – what if you defeat your enemy? Who is going to buy brass knuckles from your friend then? Poland? I don’t think so. Your poor friend will starve and then you won’t have anyone to keep your swaggering in check. Some friend you are!
Friendship is not about “tit for tat” or “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”. It’s not about demanding your friends fight along side your sorry imperialist @ss in order to cash in on the loot. No, friendship is about giving without the expectation of receiving. In the past week, our NATO allies have made it abundantly clear that as friends, they’re perfectly willing to lend a hand with the spoils of war without expecting anything in return – except for maybe control of our military, justice system, and economy.
But that’s what friends are for.
Satire used with the permission of Liberal Larry from BlameBush! You can read more of his work by clicking here.