Zarqawi Backs GOP Call to Unveil War-Ending Plan — Satire by Scott Ott

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq, today endorsed a measure introduced by Senate Republicans that would force President George Bush to lay out his plan for ending the war against terrorists in Iraq.

“We think it is important for a democracy such as the United States to be transparent with the public,” said Mr. Zarqawi in a video statement released to al-Jazeera TV and CNN. “We’ll all feel better when we learn strategic and tactical details of how Mr. Bush intends to stop al Qaeda from turning Iraq into the first major victory in the global jihad.”

As a show of ‘good faith’ diplomacy, Mr. Zarqawi said he would soon release his own detailed plans for “casting the American infidel and his Zionist conspirators into a lake of burning sulphur.”

Sen. John Warner, R-VA, who sponsored the bill, said Mr. Zarqawi’s backing should help garner votes from Senate Democrats who are typically reluctant to support any Republican measure.

“It’s really a tri-partisan effort,” Sen. Warner said.

This content was used with the permission of Scrappleface.

Share this!

Enjoy reading? Share it with your friends!

Send this to a friend