Calling Pets “Pets” Is a Thought Crime


It’s time for a new edition of the Newspeak dictionary. According to the pointy-headed circus clowns who pass down surrealist moral judgments from atop their ivory towers, our current vocabulary oppresses animals:

Animal lovers should stop calling their furry or feathered friends “pets” because the term is insulting, leading academics claim.

Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters or budgerigars should be rebranded as “companion animals” while owners should be known as “human carers”, they insist.

Other forbidden terms include “critters” and “beasts.” Pet owners are not to be referred to as “owners,” because this “harks back to a previous age” when animals were considered to be animals.

The term “wildlife” is not to be used because “For most, ‘wildness’ is synonymous with uncivilized, unrestrained, barbarous existence.” In actuality, academics have discovered that tigers and hyenas sit around tea tables in the jungle, sipping Earl Grey with their pinkies raised.

Certain idiomatic expressions also have to go:

Phrases such as “sly as a fox, “eat like a pig” or “drunk as a skunk” are all unfair to animals, they claim.

With all this verbal abuse hurled at their sensitive feelings, you can see why Obama’s Regulatory Czar Cass Sunstein wants animals to be provided with lawyers so they can sue us.

animals-tea-party.jpg
Evidence that animals are actually civilized.

On a tip from Byron. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

Related Articles

11

Hillary Fired for Lying & Obstruction During Nixon Years

Hillary Clinton was once in the Department of Justice during the Nixon years. But according to a new book the

0

A fractured party is a losing party

Why is it that when Democrats govern like Socialist dictators they win, but when Republicans govern like Democrats they lose?

89

Media Tries Projection Over 11 Year Old Sob Story

One of the important things to understand about Lefties is that no matter what happens, they think in terms of