Calling Pets “Pets” Is a Thought Crime


It’s time for a new edition of the Newspeak dictionary. According to the pointy-headed circus clowns who pass down surrealist moral judgments from atop their ivory towers, our current vocabulary oppresses animals:

Animal lovers should stop calling their furry or feathered friends “pets” because the term is insulting, leading academics claim.

Domestic dogs, cats, hamsters or budgerigars should be rebranded as “companion animals” while owners should be known as “human carers”, they insist.

Other forbidden terms include “critters” and “beasts.” Pet owners are not to be referred to as “owners,” because this “harks back to a previous age” when animals were considered to be animals.

The term “wildlife” is not to be used because “For most, ‘wildness’ is synonymous with uncivilized, unrestrained, barbarous existence.” In actuality, academics have discovered that tigers and hyenas sit around tea tables in the jungle, sipping Earl Grey with their pinkies raised.

Certain idiomatic expressions also have to go:

Phrases such as “sly as a fox, “eat like a pig” or “drunk as a skunk” are all unfair to animals, they claim.

With all this verbal abuse hurled at their sensitive feelings, you can see why Obama’s Regulatory Czar Cass Sunstein wants animals to be provided with lawyers so they can sue us.

animals-tea-party.jpg
Evidence that animals are actually civilized.

On a tip from Byron. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

Related Articles

26

Obama and A Moronic Room With A View

I hate The View. I can’t think of anything that I’d like to watch less than a bunch of inane

1

Edward Snowden: Traitor or Hero?

A whistleblower has exposed the National Security Administration’s warrantless spying on: millions: of ordinary Americans, and conservatives are divided in their reactions.

0

“Seven Tenets of Liberalism”

Left as an exercise for the reader: Conservatives in politics and in the media and on the web are generally

comments

Share This

Share this post with your friends!