Going This Nuts Over A Spider Gets Your Mancard Permanently Pulled
If a woman spots a spider and alerts you of its existence by shrieking, “Oooh! Spider! ACKKKK! Get it, get it, get it, get,” it’s your job as a man to take care of it for her. Seriously, that’s a rule. This is not the correct way for a man to handle that situation.
A southern Illinois man awakened to find a spider in his bed, and in a panic, ran through a glass door outside his home, police told FoxNews.com.
The man’s identity was not released, but the 20-year-old was apparently sleeping in the buff when he spotted the spider Tuesday morning in his bed, Mike Judge, the police chief, said. He apparently ran through a glass storm door during his escape, cutting his arms, legs and a finger. He was treated at a hospital.
Authorities fielded numerous reports of a bloody streaker and later found the man back at his home, where he’d donned some shorts.
Had he gotten naked, bloody, and then taken a jog around the neighborhood, that could be considered a manly show of confidence and virility or alternately, a poorly managed attempt to reenact Beowulf’s fight with Grendel from the 2007 version of the film. However, if a man gets so terrified by a spider that he runs naked through a storm door and then does a couple of laps around the neighborhood, covered in blood, you get your mancard permanently pulled.
Sorry, it’s the law.
California has long been a home to kooky gurus ranging from Charles Manson to Jim Jones to Marshall Applewhite of
Being predominantly liberals, our rulers know that we’re no more intelligent than dogs, so it’s their responsibility to use our