My 30 Favorite Tweets For March

by John Hawkins | April 3, 2012 3:57 am

(Tweets from my accounts + some others I liked)

I think you should pay for your own mortgage, birth control, & college loans. It’s not because I’m conservative, it’s because I’m an adult

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 11, 2012[1]

Jean-Paul Sartre just called from beyond the grave. He has changed his mind. He’s rewriting “No Exit” & Hell is actually this primary season

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 7, 2012[2]

Sandra Fluke should do her own brand of condoms. They’d prevent disease, protect you from all criticism, & have to be paid for by the Church

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 5, 2012[3]

When I see a woman posting these cute little comments & cartoons suggesting that she’s a b*tch, I take her word for it & steer clear.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) April 1, 2012[4]

Insisting that a law passed by Congress must abide by the Constitution is not & never will be “judicial activism.”

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) April 2, 2012[5]

Watching “300” always makes me want to chest kick someone into a bottomless pit after shouting at them.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) April 1, 2012[6]

The guys with bomb shelters, a year of food, & gold in their backyard seem loopy now, but if everything falls apart, they’ll be geniuses

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 28, 2012[7]

You can help people and uplift them, but you can’t “fix” them. They can only do that themselves.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 28, 2012[8]

In 2002 when Mitt was 55 he told people his views were progressive. What happened between then & his run at POTUS to make him conservative?

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 25, 2012[9]

Real Americans don’t bow to any man.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 3, 2012[10]

When you’re young, you think hair & clothes distinguish you from other people. When you get older, you find it’s really excellence that does

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 25, 2012[11]

The good news is that if Hispanics are white now because ofZimmerman, then it can’t be racist to oppose illegal immigration.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 23, 2012[12]

If you’re not responsible enough to pay for your own contraception, you probably shouldn’t be having sex in the first place.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 4, 2012[13]

I’m actually happy that George Zimmerman is Hispanic so the usual white people are all guilty by virtue of their skin color stuff won’t work

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 22, 2012[14]

Everybody is dying. So give as much as you can and make as many friends as you’re able while you have a chance.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 21, 2012[15]

If you think it’s a “gutsy call” to kill Osama Bin Laden when you have a chance, you’re probably not ready to handle the presidency.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 20, 2012[16]

Shouldn’t a real Christian WANT other Christians to “cling” to their religion?

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 8, 2012[17]

People say they want honesty from politicians. They don’t. They want people to tell them what they want to hear and call it honesty.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 7, 2012[18]

I like Rush Limbaugh, I consider him a national hero, I buy things advertised on his show, & I don’t buy from advertisers that boycott him.

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 5, 2012[19]

Feminists hold “slut walks,” encourage young women to sleep around & abort the results, & complain about “slut shaming” That’s a #waronwomen[20]

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 5, 2012[21]

So if conservatives are waging a war on women, why do they need “rape free zones” at Occupy protests, but not Tea Parties?

— John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) March 14, 2012[22]

“Before an individual can be saved, he must first learn that he cannot save himself.” –M. R. DeHaan

— Christianity Quotes (@testifyChrist) April 1, 2012[23]

“The church is a hospital for sinners, not a hotel for saints.” — Rick Warren

— Christianity Quotes (@testifyChrist) March 16, 2012[24]

“The Bible says there is pleasure in sin for a season. What does that mean? It means sin is fun — at least for a while.” — Rick Warren

— Christianity Quotes (@testifyChrist) March 20, 2012[25]

As I pumped $84 into my gas-tank today, it occurred to me that contraceptives need to be front-row-center in this next election!

— Daniel Knauf (@Daniel_Knauf) March 8, 2012[26]

If I had an ex-President, he would look just like Obama.

— Pam Swan (@pjswan) March 30, 2012[27]

NBC’s Andrea Mitchell says Cuba “highly regarded for its health care.” Also notable for it’s vibrant amateur sailing industry. #tcot[28]

— Fred Thompson (@fredthompson) March 29, 2012[29]

America. RT @lizmair[30]: Just curious, which country does Obama regard as America’s greatest geopolitical foe, if any?

— Aaron Gardner (@Aaron_RS) March 29, 2012[31]

hole families used to sleep in one big bed and produce no waste how did we go from their to killing polar bears in 100 years

— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) March 28, 2012[32]

Future headline: “iTunes has dropped Keith Olbermann’s free podcast”

— Frank J. Fleming (@IMAO_) March 30, 2012[33]

Just had to present an ID to buy Sudafed at Walgreens. Racist!!!!

— Red (@red_red_head) March 24, 2012[34]

Endnotes:
  1. March 11, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/178990722752585729
  2. March 7, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/177229081220366337
  3. March 5, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/176801489149378561
  4. April 1, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/186539083575730176
  5. April 2, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/186932743232421888
  6. April 1, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/186356378070298624
  7. March 28, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/184930181620842496
  8. March 28, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/184821661399392256
  9. March 25, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/184047099346817024
  10. March 3, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/175770324586070016
  11. March 25, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/184037171714461696
  12. March 23, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/183245126062186496
  13. March 4, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/176173247820341248
  14. March 22, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/182925978153132032
  15. March 21, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/182289307871100929
  16. March 20, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/182178058718019585
  17. March 8, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/177739949901217792
  18. March 7, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/177395721882976256
  19. March 5, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/176674376664612864
  20. #waronwomen: https://twitter.com/search/%2523waronwomen
  21. March 5, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/176808549215768577
  22. March 14, 2012: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/status/180047788690767872
  23. April 1, 2012: https://twitter.com/testifyChrist/status/186562339317891072
  24. March 16, 2012: https://twitter.com/testifyChrist/status/180764165370163200
  25. March 20, 2012: https://twitter.com/testifyChrist/status/182213689796067328
  26. March 8, 2012: https://twitter.com/Daniel_Knauf/status/177667057419157504
  27. March 30, 2012: https://twitter.com/pjswan/status/185592808772612096
  28. #tcot: https://twitter.com/search/%2523tcot
  29. March 29, 2012: https://twitter.com/fredthompson/status/185477908578566145
  30. lizmair: https://twitter.com/lizmair
  31. March 29, 2012: https://twitter.com/Aaron_RS/status/185463819278090243
  32. March 28, 2012: https://twitter.com/JoseCanseco/status/185138502407688194
  33. March 30, 2012: https://twitter.com/IMAO_/status/185874604173176832
  34. March 24, 2012: https://twitter.com/red_red_head/status/183628768483622912

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