“The Butter Cow Represents Humankind’s Tyranny Over Defenseless Animals.”

by John Hawkins | August 16, 2011 4:59 am

Hard core animal rights activists have become such a cabal of out-of-touch fruit loops[1] that they’re almost impossible to parody.

A small sign reading “Go vegan” was briefly hung around an Iowa State Fair butter cow Sunday morning, and animal rights activists took responsibility.

…An email to The Des Moines Register from an animal rights group said that one or more activists from another group got past a guard in the Agriculture Building, scaled a wall in a back hallway, got in the refrigerated case with the sculptures, and “redecorated the butter cow.” The group said the sign was up for two hours.

“We took this action to bring attention to the billions of animals enslaved for their milk, eggs and flesh,” the activists said in a statement. “The butter cow represents humankind’s tyranny over defenseless animals.”

I liked that line better when they did it first on South Park.

“The cow is a slave! The cow is a commodity! To be thrown away by a society gone wrong!” — A PETA activist as imagined by South Park

Let me further respond to that with this video from The Simpsons: “Meat and you – partners in freedom”

Jimmy: Uhh, Mr. McClure? I have a crazy friend who says its wrong to eat meat. Is he crazy?

Troy: Nooo, just ignorant. You see your crazy friend never heard of “The Food Chain”. Just ask this scientician.

Scientician: Uhhh…

Troy: He’ll tell you that, in nature, one creature invariably eats another creature to survive. Don’t kid yourself Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he’d eat you and everyone you care about!

Jimmy: Wow, Mr. McClure. I was a grade A moron to ever question eating meat.

Troy: [Laughs.] Yes you were Jimmy, yes you were.

Want to do something productive for animals? Go volunteer to help out the Human Society and stop molesting butter cows to protest “humankind’s tyranny” over defenseless animals, you wackos.

Endnotes:
  1. a cabal of out-of-touch fruit loops: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bps-xbo8wnA

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