Everything You Need To Know About The State Of The Union Last Night In Just Two Minutes

by John Hawkins | January 29, 2014 12:15 am

What can anyone really say about the State of the Union?

You lie….AGAIN! #SOTUinthreewords[1]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[2]

 

Shorter #SOTU[3] – Blame, blame, blamety, blame. Shorter Twitter: Snark, snark, snarkety, snark.

– Breeanne Howe (@breeannehowe) January 29, 2014[4]

 

It certainly wasn’t very exciting. Let’s see, how can I convey how dull it was?

Somewhere a worker is helping to build a car..zzzzzz….we’ve got to work together….zzzzz…work harder for the people… #stateoftheunion[5]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[6]

 

This is truly an AWFUL start to the speech. Did he replace his speech writers with earnest liberal high school students? #SOTU[3]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[7]

 

In fact, the most interesting part of the speech may have been the people in the audience.

RT @FNTheFive[8]: PHOTO: Duck Dynasty’s @WillieBossHog[9] is @RepMcAllister[10]‘s guest to the #SOTU[3]. #foxnewsCHAT[11] pic.twitter.com/hYXeMWr59c[12]

– Pam C (@PamYotesFan) January 29, 2014[13]

 

Creepy! RT @BrianMFloyd[14]: BIDEN https://t.co/epd5NnCs4g[15]

– Heather Smith (@heatherlsmith) January 29, 2014[16]

 

Granted, there may have been a few people who liked the speech.

Chris Matthews is already preparing to call this dull prattling the greatest speech since the Gettysburg Address #sotu[17]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[18]

 

But, most of us just thought it went on way too long.

Most depressing part so far: It’s not over yet.

– Jonah Goldberg (@JonahNRO) January 29, 2014[19]

 

Know what would really improve this plodding speech? That sign language interpreter from the Mandela funeral. #SOTU[3]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[20]

 

Of course, there were a few controversial parts. For example, Barack Obama falsely claimed that the science was settled on global warming.

Oh yeah, the debate over global warming is settled…oh hold on, sorry, I was distracted by all the sleet we’re getting..at the beach #sotu[17]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[21]

 

His false claim that women are only paid 77 cents on every dollar that a man is paid for the same work raised a few eyebrows as well.

RT @iowahawkblog[22]: If women get paid less than men for the same work, why would a capitalist ever hire a man?

– Melissa Clouthier (@MelissaTweets) January 29, 2014[23]

 

“Gender wage gap in Obama’s White House: Female staffers earn less than 87 cents on the dollar compared to men.” #sotu[17]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[24]

 

Of course, he did allude to income inequality, encouraged businesses to raise wages and gave a happy, smiley, everything sure is going great with Obamacare pep talk.

I’m sure a lot of people would love to raise wages. Could you cut regulations & get rid of Obamacare so they’d have the cash to do it? #sotu[17]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[25]

 

Obama’s comments about how he was on track to persuade Iran to forget about nukes were ludicrous as well. It’s almost as if he started with the assumption that no one viewing the speech had been watching the news for the last month.

Iran FM on the deal: “We did not agree to dismantle anything.” http://t.co/CjkWNrQEwl[26]

– Guy Benson (@guypbenson) January 29, 2014[27]

 

His other foreign policy comments were almost as vacuous.

Notice how those lines about how well Iraq is doing are gone

– Peter Beinart (@PeterBeinart) January 29, 2014[28]

 

Obama made America more safe, mainly due to the fact that Benghazi is not in America. #sotu[17]

– Erik Telford (@BlameTelford) January 29, 2014[29]

 

Surprisingly, the highlight of the speech was when Obama said nice things about wounded warrior Cory Remsburg, who was badly injured fighting for our country. Both parties applauded those comments, which is ironic since…

Obama & the rest of the Dems just cut pensions for people like the soldier they’re saluting right now &Paul Ryan & Boehner helped. #SOTU[3]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[30]

 

After Obama’s horrible, awful, no good speech rolled to a close, Cathy McMorris Rogers gave the response from a broom closet with a couch somewhere on Capitol Hill. She was quite pleasant and likable, but was so substance free that I literally don’t remember anything she said other than her name.

Why doesn’t the GOP rent out an auditorium for these responses so they don’t look quite so small ball in comparison? #SOTU[3]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[31]

 

Both Obama & Cathy McMorris Rodgers endorse good people, good things, stuff you like! Who says we can’t have bipartisanship? #sotu[17]

– John Hawkins (@johnhawkinsrwn) January 29, 2014[32]

 

That’s everything you need to know about the State of the Union address in just two minutes.

Endnotes:
  1. #SOTUinthreewords: https://twitter.com/search?q=%23SOTUinthreewords&src=hash
  2. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428346247640920065
  3. #SOTU: https://twitter.com/search?q=%23SOTU&src=hash
  4. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/breeannehowe/statuses/428351337214902272
  5. #stateoftheunion: https://twitter.com/search?q=%23stateoftheunion&src=hash
  6. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428352539294064640
  7. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428353381287997440
  8. @FNTheFive: https://twitter.com/FNTheFive
  9. @WillieBossHog: https://twitter.com/williebosshog
  10. @RepMcAllister: https://twitter.com/RepMcAllister
  11. #foxnewsCHAT: https://twitter.com/search?q=%23foxnewsCHAT&src=hash
  12. pic.twitter.com/hYXeMWr59c: http://t.co/hYXeMWr59c
  13. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/PamYotesFan/statuses/428350509703901184
  14. @BrianMFloyd: https://twitter.com/BrianMFloyd
  15. https://t.co/epd5NnCs4g: https://t.co/epd5NnCs4g
  16. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/heatherlsmith/statuses/428358801084133376
  17. #sotu: https://twitter.com/search?q=%23sotu&src=hash
  18. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428355466612051968
  19. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/JonahNRO/statuses/428357234225979393
  20. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428363306177265664
  21. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428355655863259136
  22. @iowahawkblog: https://twitter.com/iowahawkblog
  23. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/MelissaTweets/statuses/428369106434146304
  24. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428358535835955200
  25. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428359490862211073
  26. http://t.co/CjkWNrQEwl: http://t.co/CjkWNrQEwl
  27. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/guypbenson/statuses/428363996719484928
  28. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/PeterBeinart/statuses/428362475462230016
  29. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/BlameTelford/statuses/428363025792647169
  30. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428366272934313984
  31. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428370156855648257
  32. January 29, 2014: https://twitter.com/johnhawkinsrwn/statuses/428372826408493057

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