by John Hawkins | August 25, 2018 11:55 pm
One of the worst things to happen to men and women in the modern age is the blurring of the line between masculine and feminine.
There are a number of reasons for that. An over-feminized society. Feminist attacks on masculinity. Poor role models on TV. Fewer men growing up with their fathers or working in masculine professions.
But, the biggest causes are probably the rise of single motherhood and women going into the workforce en masse. When you take women out of the home and put them into a working environment, by necessity they have to become more masculine. That masculine imbalance carries over into their home life and many men have become more feminine as a response to it. Similarly, single mothers may not only have to fill a masculine role at work, but they may have to also fill it at home with their children.
To counter that, it’s necessary to start defining masculine and feminine roles so you can know which role you’re filling – and EVERYBODY fills both masculine and feminine roles at times. It’s all right to do that, especially situationally. If you’re a single dad, you’re going to have to do some mothering. If you’re a female manager, you’re going to have to be a boss. Furthermore, it is OKAY to be masculine and have SOME feminine traits or feminine with SOME masculine traits. However, if you start finding yourself spending MOST of your time displaying traits that don’t match up to your gender, you are probably not going to be happy.
So, what’s masculine and what’s feminine?
Competing (m) vs. Cooperating (f)
Aggressive (m) vs. Passive (f)
Leading (m) vs. Supporting (f)
Inwardly focused (m) vs. Nurturing (f)
Conquering (m) vs. Sharing (f)
Toughness (m) vs. Tenderness (f)
Discipline (m) vs. Permissiveness (f)
Achievement (m) vs. Appearance (f)
Defiance (m) vs. Surrender (f)
Emotionally stable (m) vs. Emotionally volatile (f)
Dominant (m) vs. Submissive (f)
Freedom & Release (m) vs. Connectedness (f)
Indifference (m) vs. Empathy (f)
Logical (m) vs. Emotional (f)
Confidence (m) vs. Uncertainty (f)
Decisive (m) vs. Timid (f)
Muscularity (f) vs. Beauty (f)
Impervious (m) vs. Vulnerable (f)
Strength (m) vs. Delicateness (f)
Self-Reliance (m) vs. Asking for help (f)
Giving gifts (m) vs. Receiving gifts (f)
Some women will undoubtedly dislike this breakdown because many highly desirable jobs like CEO, general and president are naturally masculine roles. That doesn’t mean a woman can’t do those jobs, but it does mean she’ll have to take on a more masculine persona to do it. Many feminists would rather mislead you about that because they can’t bear the idea that men might have certain intrinsic advantages in areas where they want to be successful.
Additionally, I think it’s hard for a lot of women to accept that men are attracted to feminine traits that many feminists view as weakness. There may be exceptions, but as a general rule, men will be more attracted to a delicate woman than a muscular one, a pretty face more than a successful career, and a woman who likes to support as opposed to a woman who wants to lead.
On top of that, some men feel uncomfortable with these masculine traits because they set a high bar. “Oh, so I just need to try to be a dominant, muscular, aggressive conqueror who is decisive and takes the lead. That seems like a lot of work compared to playing video games and watching porn.” Well, yeah. Being a masculine man doesn’t just happen. It takes work.
With all that in mind, the best way to think of this is as a process, not an end goal. If you’re a man, being more masculine is likely to make you happier and pay dividends with the opposite sex. If you’re female, being more feminine is likely to make you happier and pay dividends with the opposite sex. So, if you want to become more masculine or feminine, think about the traits you need to embody to accomplish that and you can start making real progress.
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