The 7 Best Jokes From The New Dave Chappelle Special That Is Infuriating Liberals

by John Hawkins | August 31, 2019 7:29 pm

These days, humorless liberals are famous for screaming some version of, “That’s not funny!” at people, but Dave Chappelle’s new special “Stick & Stones” seems to be bothering them more than normal. Vice wrote a whole piece advising people not to watch it.

Comedy writer Timothy Michael Jennings encouraged people not to watch the special because he thinks Dave Chappelle, who is very much a liberal, is a “bitter, borderline conservative, misogynist.”Paste Magazine complained angrily about “Chappelle’s total lack of empathy and understanding,” which is like carping that a professional cage fighter isn’t gentle and nurturing enough.

Since when does anyone go to comedy shows for “empathy and understanding?”

Buzzfeed complained that Chappelle wasn’t “thoughtful” and that it’s “less cool to say that you’re a Dave Chappelle fan at certain parties in Brooklyn.”

Chappelle’s sin is spending most of his time making fun of the Left’s sacred cows instead of doing the same old, trite, tedious mockery of conservatives that liberals have almost universally adopted as a comedy substitute. Instead of doing original jokes, it’s: “Hey, did you know Donald Trump is an awful, orange, liar? HAHAHAHAHA!” Also, “Conservatives, are they racists or what? HAHAHAHAHA!” Southerners – “Those guys are so backward they have sex with their cousins. HAHAHAHAHA!”

In fact, the approved liberal version of stand-up is closer to a religious ritual than actual comedy at this point. If comedians don’t say the same old things about the same old targets, liberals turn them into targets.

Chappelle, despite being a liberal, was willing to go against the PC culture and make jokes you’re not “allowed” to make any more. It was funny stuff.

7) Black people never feel sorry for the police, but this time, we even felt sorry for the police. Can you imagine if you was a police veteran taking this kid’s police report? “Okay, Mr. Smollett. Please, tell me what happened.” “All right, you… 2:00 a.m. You left the house at 2:00 a.m. It was minus 16 degrees and… – All right. You were walking? You were walking. All right. And… and where were you going? Subway? Sandwiches? That’s when the men approached you? Did you see them? Do you have any –  Okay, what did they have on? MAGA hats? MAGA hats on in Chicago? Excuse me, one second, Mr. Smollett. Frank, come here for a second. Find out where Kanye West was last night.” Such a f*cking outrageous story. He said they put a rope around his neck. Has anyone here ever been to Chicago? Yes! All right. All right, so you’ve been there. Now, tell me, how much rope do you remember seeing? Who the f*ck is carrying rope? Like, when did you get mugged, n*gga, in 1850? – Who’s got rope? – Who’s got rope? Man, that sh*t was awful.

6) But, you see, what I didn’t realize at the time and what Kevin had to learn the hard way is we were breaking an unwritten and unspoken rule of show business. And if I say it, you’ll know that I’m telling you the truth. The rule is that no matter what you do in your artistic expression, you are never, ever, allowed to upset… the alphabet people. You know who I mean. Those people that took 20% of the alphabet for themselves. I’d say the letters, but I don’t want to conjure their anger. Ah, it’s too late now. I’m talking about them L’s and them B’s and them G’s and the T’s.

5) And then, I tried to change the subject. “Oh, how is school going, boys?” And my son’s telling me, “Well, we didn’t have school today, technically.” I’m like, “What… What’s going on?” He said, “Well there was, like, a school shooting drill.” I never heard of this. You know what this is? They have drills that they make kids do, uh, where they practice what to do if somebody comes to shoot up their school. I’d never heard of that before. I was like, “What the f*ck?” I had to tell my sons the truth. I didn’t want to tell them this shit. “Son… Son, listen to me. F*ck that drill. If somebody comes to your school and wants to shoot it up, I’m just gonna be honest with you. You probably gonna get shot, n*gga. I’m just being real. You got a famous dad. I talk a lot of sh*t. They gonna be gunning for you, little buddy. Just stay low and run in a zigzag pattern, and don’t try to save anybody, son. Do you understand me?” Why would you have kids rehearse for some sh*t they have no control over? All you’re doing is training these kids to worry. It’s the stupidest drill I’ve ever heard of. And while you’re in there training ’em during these drills, well, aren’t you training the shooter, too? This n*gga’s in here listening and learning like the other kids. Sittin’ in the back… “So, where are we supposed to meet? Okay.”

Please read the rest at BizPac Review[1].

Endnotes:
  1. BizPac Review: https://www.bizpacreview.com/2019/08/29/the-7-best-jokes-from-the-new-dave-chappelle-special-that-is-infuriating-liberals-802668

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