by Terresa Monroe-Hamilton | September 9, 2017 4:10 pm
I have to say that I have a hard time with stories that claim a husband was abused. Yes, I’m sure it happens, but I have the same problem to an extent with any marital abuse. I can’t understand staying and just taking it. Especially when the husband is usually the bigger and stronger of the two. That’s not love, it’s sick. In Britain, an abused husband who had taken beatings from his wife since their wedding night, set up a secret camera to record her in the act. She’s also a teacher… I can’t even imagine how she treats her students if she does this to her husband.
Evidently his wife drinks heavily. She thought the police would never believe him and if he hadn’t recorded her, she may have been right. Neil Tweedy is 45. He stayed married to this monster for twelve abusive years. His wife Helen even assaulted him on their wedding night. She smothered him with a duvet and forced him to sleep on the couch. Right about then, wouldn’t you be reconsidering the whole ‘honeymoon’ and ‘death do us part’ bits of your marriage?
In a classic victim mindset, Neil thought for years his wife would change. That she would sober up and all would be okay. It didn’t happen. It never does until someone hits rock bottom. And even then, some people never straighten up. He only took action after they had a child and she was still abusive. I guess he feared for the child.
Neil installed a camera at the couple’s home. For two months he videoed his wife slapping him and swearing at him. One time she did it in front of their four year-old daughter. After three incidents that got progressively more violent, he went to the police with the footage. Helen admitted to three counts of common assault and a restraining order was issued banning her contact with her husband. But why would you leave the child with her? SMH. Her husband actually defended her actions by telling the court, “Helen is a fantastic and brilliant teacher and gets to work for 7.30am and doesn’t leave till 7.30pm. She’s just so hard working. I don’t support the restraining order as it will make access between her and our child difficult. We can’t be amicable because of the restraining order but if there wasn’t one in place then I’m sure we would be. The problem was just alcohol, she was admitted to hospital twice in the past year and could have died. Something had to change. It’s not the kind of problem where she wakes up needing alcohol it’s just the binge drinking at weekends that’s caused this. Hopefully now she can get the help she needs.”
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The couple met 16 years ago and appeared to be very happy to family and friends. But Helen’s drinking got worse and worse. It made her abusive and controlling. She took over the finances and demanded that her husband hand over all wages to be managed by her. Then there was the slapping and the swearing. They were together for three years before getting married and they were happy during that period. They married in 2008 and that night he was assaulted, kicked and punched in the head and body.
The drinking and the verbal and physical abuse took its toll on their marriage and resulted in the video and the court case. The woman needs to dry out and get counseling, but she’s the only one who can do it. I’m surprised her liver hasn’t done her in yet. She was sentenced to a 12-month community order with 120 hours unpaid work and a restraining order for 12 months. I hope the child is with the husband during the separation. His wife needs help and to get her act together if they have a chance as a family at all.
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