Moonbat Tech: Saving Gaia by Turning People Into Garden Manure

by Dave Blount | April 19, 2011 1:44 pm

Mortuary concerns have presented progressives with opportunities to make a pageant of their Gaia-worship and contempt for human life. The departed are made into sludge and washed down the drain[1] in honor of the polar bears, or buried in absurd woolen caskets[2] so that they’ll “rot down” faster. Now Swedish environmentalist Susanne Wiigh-Mäsak introduces promession[3]:

The first step of promession is to remove the approximate 70-percent water component from the corpse.

Within a week and a half after death, the body is frozen to -18 degrees Celsius and then submerged in liquid nitrogen, a substance that Promessa Organic claims does not cause any environmental harm.

The body now very brittle is then treated to vibrations of specific amplitude that reduce the corpse to a fine organic powder, both hygienic and odourless. It finally is laid in a biodegradable container made of cornstarch.

Wait 6 to 12 months and voilà: the deceased is now fertilizer. Experiments with the process have gone well:

To date, promession has been tested on the carcasses of hundreds of naturally expired pigs and cows. Wiigh-Mäsak planted roses above the containers and proclaims ‘excellent results.’

As Ingrid Newkirk[4] might put it, a rat is a pig is a dog is a boy is a cow is a pile of something a cow left in the field.

Grandma, is that you?

On a tip from Anti Socialist. Cross-posted at Moonbattery[5].

  1. made into sludge and washed down the drain:
  2. woolen caskets:
  3. promession:
  4. Ingrid Newkirk:
  5. Moonbattery:

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