O.J. Simpson Is Loose, Wants to Hit Bunny Ranch

Having evaded prison after committing two murders (although he owes over $33 million in a wrongful death suit) thanks to his fame and privileged pigmentation, and now having been paroled from a 33-year sentence for armed robbery, former NFL and Hollywood star O.J. Simpson will now devote himself to a clean and wholesome life. Just kidding:

Among the first items on O.J. Simpson’s to-do list upon re-entry to the free world last week was to find some “companionship” after nine years in prison, an insider said.

“He sent word … to the Bunny Ranch,” the insider said of Nevada’s famed legal house of prostitution.

“As far as I know, things are going down,” the ranch’s flamboyant owner, Dennis Hof, told The Post. He had earlier told Radar Online that Simpson buddy Tom Scotto had called looking for “a Nicole Brown look-a-like.”

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Whatever they pay their prostitutes, it could never be enough — especially considering how the original Nicole Brown ended up.

Maybe we should look to someplace other than the NFL and Hollywood for our role models.

On a tip from Stormfax. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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