Green Guilt Over Flatulence

by Dave Blount | February 4, 2010 2:31 pm

The key to controlling people is to make them feel guilty about their own existence. The envirofascism movement has been so successful in this regard that the gullible hang their heads in shame not only for not living like cavemen, but even over bodily functions. From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch’s Dr. Phil Donohue column[1], which normally offers relatively serious medical advice:

Dear Dr. Donohue — My daughter complains that I flatulate more often than most individuals. Furthermore, she claims that the gas an individual passes contributes to global warming. I don’t know if I am physically able to keep my gas to myself to go green. Is my daughter really right?

Dr. Donohue sensibly points out that people can’t help but cut the cheese, but then goes on to list the major greenhouse gases without mentioning the most important one, water vapor. Then he offers our liberal rulers an idea they’re bound to run with:

If your daughter is truly worried over your contribution to the greenhouse effect, she should realize that her breathing contributes a significant amount of carbon dioxide to it. She blows out carbon dioxide with each exhalation. Humans contribute more than 30 billion tons of carbon dioxide to the yearly production of this greenhouse gas. No one suggests we stop breathing.

Not yet, anyway. But according to the Supreme Court[2], breathing falls under the EPA’s jurisdiction.

On a tip from B1bbet. Cross-posted at Moonbattery[3].