SHE’S BAAACK: Hillary Emerges, Announces Major Plans

03 May, 2017 by Margaret M.

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Failed Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton has emerged from her five month hiking trip with a brilliant new idea to take over America. Please stop laughing long enough for me to explain this.

Bill’s wife is embarking on a new strategy to reinvigorate her family’s brand and it’s not just about pushing Chelsea down everyone’s throats. This time, she’s starting a new PAC to act as a “quiet catalyst” to her favorite organizations with an eye to supporting candidates in the 2018 election.

As well as refusing to quit politics for good, she’s writing a book!

As quoted in Axios, Hillary gave a hint to why she’s writing to CNN’s Christiane Amanpour at a fancy lunch in New York this week:

“I wouldn’t say it’s therapy. I would say it is cathartic. Because, you know, it’s very difficult to succeed a two-term president of your own party. … [O]thers may not have realized it. I always knew that it was going to be a hard election.”

“So you know, I’m now back to being an activist citizen and part of the resistance.” (Cheers and applause.)

Oh boy! A Political Action Committee to fund greaseballs running next year and a brand new book that blames her loss on Obama! Nothing is ever her fault, is it?

After a PAC and a book, I’m excited to say that there’s even more in store for us lucky listeners!

You can now, once again, request to book Hillary Clinton to speak at your event, according to a quietly reinstated page at the Harry Walker Agency.

According to The Daily Caller:

Prior to running for president, Clinton had a $225,000 asking price per speech. She raked in nearly $22 million between 2013 and 2015.

Some of those gigs came back to haunt the former first lady during the campaign. She was heavily criticized for giving speeches to Wall Street firms and companies seeking business with the U.S. government.

I, for one, am sure not completely sick of Hillary Clinton and I don’t believe in the least that her speeches will be funding the eventual run for office that Chelsea will take.

As our very own John Hawkins writes in his new book, 101 Things All Young Adults Should Know, “People are what they are and probably are not going to change much once they reach adulthood.” Same goes for the Clintons. They’ve always been in politics for themselves and will repeat the same scams over and over again. If you know someone in that tender age group who is still adjusting to life as an income tax filing adult, you can make a purchase from Amazon here to help them from turning into entitled liberal Democrats.

Purchase from Amazon Here