by Terresa Monroe-Hamilton | May 27, 2016 2:04 pm
I. Just. Can’t. The world is burning down around us and some addled moron decides to go live as a goat in the Alps. Thomas Thwaites, a 35 year-old Londoner, wanted a simpler way of life… so he decided to become a goat. He got prosthetic ‘goat legs’ and lived as part of an Alpine herd. The prosthetics hurt like hell, he more often than not fell on his face eating grass and the herd had severe doubts about him as they should have. He said: ‘I suffered quite a lot as a goat…they didn’t like me much’. Gee, I’m shocked.
From the Daily Mail:
When the rat race became too much for Thomas Thwaites he quit London and became a goat… in Switzerland.
The 35-year-old spent a year creating prosthetic ‘goat legs’ that would allow him to roam the Alps comfortably on all fours and an artificial stomach that would enable him to blend in and ‘eat grass’.
Thwaites said: ‘I suffered quite a lot as a goat, because of the slope I was constantly falling over, and of course I had to eat grass.
Evidently, Thwaites figured out there was a hierarchy in the herd and avoided getting gored. A female goat followed him around and stayed near him. He figured she accepted and liked him. I figure she was tasked with keeping an eye on him. Thwaites said: ‘When I first had the idea a lot of people called me crazy, but I was fed up with my life anyway and I needed a break. I was jobless and I had a lot of personal problems, and I found everyday life so stressful. One day I was walking with the dog of a friend and I noticed that the dog just seemed really happy about life, without any worries, and I thought to myself it would be really great to be you for a day.’ But as he was not keen on meat he decided against becoming a dog. Thwaites said the idea of ‘being an elephant had appealed’ but then he realized they ‘seem to have the same problems we do – they get sad, they get upset and they can even suffer from post-traumatic stress. That was exactly the sort of thing I was trying to get away from.’ Eventually he settled on the idea of being a goat. This guy is mental… he gave up and decided to become something he’s not. Seems to be an epidemic these days. I guarantee this didn’t ‘cure’ his personal problems. It’s amazing what universities will fund. Here’s a thought, get a job and actually live your life. And of course the overriding message here is that goats are so much better than humans. Well, I certainly prefer them to Thwaites as a human, let’s leave it at that.
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