ABC News Takes All The Fun Out Of The CDC’s Zombie Apocalypse

by William Teach | May 20, 2011 8:38 am

By now, I’m sure you’ve heard about the fun and light hearted CDC blog post[1] about preparing for the zombie apocalypse. It is Zombie Awareness Month[2] (which I totally forgot to blog about after they emailed me that link. Sorry!), after all. Here’s how Kim Carollo of ABC News treats it

Will Budget Cuts Leave Us Unprepared for Zombie Apocalypse?[3]

Sigh. Can’t we just have fun now and then?

If zombies ever start taking over the planet, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says we’d better be prepared for it.

If the undead really start roaming the earth looking for fresh brains to eat, we can’t rely on our ability to shoot ’em dead the way people do in video games[4] or in horror flicks. Instead, the agency says, we need to treat it like any other disaster.

“So what do you need to do before zombies…or hurricanes or pandemics for example, actually happen? First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house,” Dr. Ali S. Khan, assistant surgeon general of the United States, wrote in a blog[5] on CDC’s web site. “This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp.”

Say, I wonder if this is linked to the upcoming Rapture on Saturday? There sure will be some seriously surprised liberals. What if it does happen, and we all wake up as zombies? Will we all starve to death, since liberal brains are seriously deficient of protein, vitamins, and size. (OK, enough picking on Liberals)

While the zombie stuff may be tongue-in-cheek, the overall message is serious: It’s critical to be ready for real disasters — from storms to diseases to terrorist attacks. The problem, experts say, is that no matter how many earthquakes, floods or other disasters happen, people still don’t make an effort to prepare for them.

So, they’re saying that that wacky Glenn Beck, who pushes food insurance all the time, and keeps tons of the food packs stored, is actually the sanest man in the room? Goodness!

The readiness message is especially important, experts say, in light of federal budget cuts that slashed more than $100 million from public health preparedness[6] programs when they say much more money is needed.

Sigh. Takes all the fun out of it. Also, it shows the Leftist view, that only Government can help us.

“It means that fewer people can respond and fewer people can help prepare for response, which requires planning and training so that the response is meaningful and automatic,” said Robert Pestronk, executive director of National Association of County and City Health Officials (NACCHO), an organization that represents more than 2,800 local health departments. “Without sustained preparedness funding, continued progress is unreliable and the risk of being caught off guard increases.”

Vulnerable populations, including children, the elderly and the chronically ill could suffer worse than others without the means to help them.

Actually, in a zombie apocalypse, it’s like the old parable about being chased by a lion: I don’t have to be a fast runner, just faster than you.

I’ll be ready, though, because the zombies won’t[7] get[8] me[9] in these houses.

  1. CDC blog post:
  2. Zombie Awareness Month:
  3. Will Budget Cuts Leave Us Unprepared for Zombie Apocalypse?:
  4. video games:
  5. blog:
  6. public health preparedness:
  7. won’t:
  8. get:
  9. me:

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