by John Hawkins | January 1, 2012 9:36 pm
Today, Taliban leader Mullah Mohammad Omar released what he called “definitive proof” that he and Osama Bin Laden were not responsible for the attacks on America. Omar claimed that “I have a tape recording of a phone conversation that will prove that the attacks on America were planned and executed by the president of the United States, George W. Bush and the Prime Minister of Israel, Arial Sharon.” BKW has gotten their hands on this tape and a transcript of it in it’s entirety follows…
George W. Bush:: BWAHAHAHAH!! I am now planning to murder my own people with great injustice.
Arial Sharon:: As I have demanded that you must do because I hate all of Islam! Hate it, hate it, HATE IT!!!!
George W. Bush:: As do I! BWAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA…
Arial Sharon:: Enough laughter my decadent henchman! We have evil schemes to be planning!!
George W. Bush:: Yes master..
Arial Sharon:: First we will murder thousands of your people with Arab traitors we have convinced to do our bidding with our dirty money. Then we will blame it on the hero of the Muslim world, Osama Bin Laden.
George W. Bush:: Osama Bin Laden?! Who would believe such crazy lies about a man like Osama Bin Laden?!?
Arial Sharon:: BWAHAHAHHAHAAH! The American people of course! Their brains are rotten from TV, computers, and radio!
George W. Bush:: Yes we are the sons of pigs and monkeys and…(Sound of a goat bleating in the background)..In the name of Allah, shut up you stupid goat!! Wahid, get rid of this stupid goat!
Arial Sharon:: Stop having senseless amusement at that goat and pay attention to what we are going Mohamm…George!
George W. Bush:: I am sorry great infector of the innocent Muslim people!
Arial Sharon:: After we blame all of Islam for our evil deeds, we must have some nations to attack for the twisted lies that come out of our mouths!!
George W. Bush:: I’ve got it!!! What about the gentle and virtuous people Afghanistan?
Arial Sharon:: Muhuhahahahahahahah! The Taliban are the most virtuous of all of Earth people. They will be the perfect foils for our dastardly scheming!!
George W. Bush:: Yes! We will overwhelm their pure reputations with the stench of our evil!! Do you want a pork sandwich master? I am again eating bacon and reading Salmon Rushdie’s evil devil words!
Arial Sharon:: MMMMMM…sweet pork! I will eat pork chops, bacon, sausage and make myself unclean while I dance with joy at the defilement of the reputation of the great Islamic freedom fighter, Osama Bin Laden.
George W. Bush:: I also dance with joy at the thought of turning the world again Osama Bin Laden and Mullah Mohammad Omar who I greatly admire because of his bravery and courage. Once I heard that Mohammad Omar was fighting 8 Soviet Soldiers armed only with the jawbone of an Ass. His attack was so ferocious that he not only drove them off, he drove off an entire battalion of…(Sound of a goat bleating in the background)
Arial Sharon:: Allah curse that stupid goat!
George W. Bush:: Wahid, why is that goat still here? I will take you outside and shoot you myself if I hear that stupid goat again!! You idiot! Osama do you see the type of brainless rabble I’m working with here?
Arial Sharon:: (Loud Coughing) GEORGE, I think you meant to say Arial, do you see the type of idiots I’m working with? You accidentally said Osama, and I am obviously not an unknown person named Osama.
George W. Bush:: Of course you are not Osama..I mean Arial..I mean you are Osama and not Arial…Wait I mean Osama you are not Arial..or..wait…
Arial Sharon:: You are babbling like the son of a pig.
George W. Bush:: I am sorry Osama..ehr..Arial. Something distracted me…uh..ah..a..a..nearly naked woman walked by. Her ankles were fully exposed. I will have Wahid flog her for being a harlot.
Arial Sharon:: This is pointless…I’m going to find the deepest cave in all of Afghanistan to hide in. I’ll see you in 6 months. Good Luck Mohammad.
George W. Bush:: You mean George right Arial? See I got it right that time! Arial, are you there Arial? Should I send this out? Arial? I am sending this out ok Arial? Arial? Osama? Arial? I am putting this in the mail Arial. Hahaha, the you know who will never figure out you know what! Hahahahahha…
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