Free Ride to a Free Ride in Hawaii

by Dave Blount | August 1, 2014 2:18 pm

By this point in the week, you are probably tired of work. Why not say to hell with it and chuck it all in? It’s much more pleasant to ride in the cart than pull it. You could retire to paradise on someone else’s dime. All you have to do is travel to Mexico, discard your documentation, then come back across the Rio Grande on an inner tube and turn yourself in to the Border Patrol with the magic words, “No speak English.” Here’s how it works:

Although 2,500 miles from the continental United States, Hawaii has joined the list of states temporarily [yeah right] housing unaccompanied minors from Central America who have illegally crossed into America through the Southwest border.

Who’s paying the freight? You, the taxpayer.

Department of Health and Human Services spokesman Kenneth Wolfe confirms that minors have been “discharged from the unaccompanied alien children program to sponsors in Hawaii.”

You say you aren’t a minor? No matter. Neither are the majority of the “children” pouring over the border. You don’t believe little kids from backward jungle villages in Central America – many sick with exotic diseases – traveled 1,000 miles through Mexico on their own, do you? Anyway, you dumped your ID, so how do the authorities know how old you are? You could even enroll in the 9th grade if you want.

Federal taxpayers cover the cost of transportation and housing for the refugee children, including their airfare to Hawaii, Wolfe said.

Once in Hawaii, invaders are home free, although theoretically you could be deported if you do something really weird, like show up for an immigration hearing.

Hawaii’s welfare programs are among the most extravagant in the nation.

Free paradise awaits.

On tips from Dragon’s Lair and Henry. Cross-posted at Moonbattery.

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