Wild Pigs Kill Three ISIS Members In Raid

25 Apr, 2017 by Sierra Marlee

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Who needs to put boots on the ground when you have bloodthirsty wild boars? (Wow, that’s a sentence I never thought I’d use in my professional career.)

I wonder if you get your virgins if you’re killed by bacon with legs? Can anyone look that up for me?

The Daily Caller put it best in their opening line: “A herd of wild boars assaulted an Islamic State position Sunday, killing at least three of the terrorists and injuring another five.”

At this point, it’s clear that ISIS has ticked off everybody in the world, including Mother Nature. I mean, how evil do you have to be to have a herd of pigs attack you?

According to the article, the boars charged as the terrorists were readying an ambush in a reed field “approximately 55 miles southwest of Kirkuk, Iraq.” They were looking to attack a group of people who had recently formed an anti-ISIS force.

Unfortunately for the heroic piggies, ISIS later took revenge on “Squeal Team Six.”

Of course, the cute and docile pigs we think of aren’t anything like the wild boars that attacked the ISIS fighters.

“Experienced hunters say that wild boar can be even more dangerous to hunt than a bear. Equipped with thick, razor-sharp tusks, and a razor-sharp mind, a wild board can weigh a staggering 660 lbs. and exhibit extremely aggressive and unpredictable behavior.”

A formidable opponent, it’s no wonder the beasts managed to slaughter three grown men and wound another five more before ending their rampage. They are definitely animals I’d want on my side if push came to shove.

Boars also don’t play fair, encircling their pray before attacking from the rear, a tactic that always gives them the element of surprise.

So, just remember next time you’re feeling bad about yourself, you’ve never had God sic a group of angry pigs on you. That must mean you’re doing something right.

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